FB DRAMA REVEALED: FB The Relationship Destroyer?

 

FACEBOOK

"Facebook is a social utility that connects people with friends and others who work, study and live around them."

Yeah it sounds good. Right? Since FB spread its wings to larger populations in the past six years it has been known as the relationship destroyer. Men and woman both utilize the site to search for old school buddies, past-time flings, family and friends. The relationship status is available for the everyone to see. Whether an individual post the truth or lie it seems to cause a great deal of conflict on this social media site. With the constant changes in the privacy settings FB will continue to receive flack and couples will see increase in lack of privacy.

All too often I read articles about couples ending their relationships over password changes, secret messages from former girlfriends/boyfriends, or because someone disregarded the relationship status and wrote openly on the persons wall expressing whatever.

If you are married or in some form of committed relationship why is there an issue with passwords. If there are no secrets then you and your significant other should have access to each others passwords. (Some of you out there may feel differently about this. Comment or email us.)

Why send private messages that you know can cause a problem in your relationship? If you sending a friend your phone number or email address then that is acceptable means for private messaging. On the other hand, congratulating an ex or unknown friend on their pregnancy or new job is totally unacceptable. Any form of congratulations can be posted on that persons wall.

We all know that there are some ignorant people in this world which we live in. Females in particular will do and say anything to piss another chick off. Writing on someones wall expressing how attractive they are when you know his girlfriend will be seeing it in the news feed can cause a great of problems. Especially, if the guy does not nip it in the bud with that chick. I have personally seen this happen on a friend wall and his girl lost it. Their situation could have been avoided if the guy would have removed the chick or the girlfriend could have ignored it. But then again how many times can you overlook nonsense.

If it takes for both of you to deactivation or delete all of your social media accounts, then do it. Saving your relationship should be more important than FB. However, if you choose to continue doing you, then so be it. What's hidden in the dark will eventually come to light. 

I have always said I wonder how me and my husbands relationship would be if Facebook was popular in the year we started dating. I didn't have anything that I could go to and learn more than the little information I would get from him. I had nothing that I could see how his past relationship went and how he dealt with the break up. I didn't have anything that would show me photos of how he spent his money and if he spent more time with his friends than with his family. When we joined FB we were both in a relationship with each other and it had never changed.

Facebook is NOT the reason relationships are destroyed. It is simply a vehicle to get you through a relationship that was going no where faster. You find out that he's talking to other girls. He finds out that your the jealous type when you add every girl that's adding him or that he adds. You find out how he really feels in a relationship when you argue and he instantly post his response in his status. He finds out that you are writing notes and taking pictures to please another guy. You would have found these things out eventually. Facebook just helped you get through it.

Think of all the relationships before FB you have been in that lasted a long time and after you break up you realize you spent to much time in the relationship. Now look how fast you see people go through relationships. On some ends its a curse on others it's a blessing.

What do you think readers?

SOUND OFF!

Voting

Since when has the opportunity to vote become a none mother fucking factor? Apparently its not important to many individuals, unless a Black man is running for President. I'm very upset at those who took the presidential election seriously, but fail to utilize their rights during other primary elections.

All votes are and forever will be accounted for. Well, that's only if you go out and exercise your rights. Voting for elected officials to represent us in office is very important. They are our voices for creating laws and enforcing them, Health care, taxes, government assistance, employment opportunities, and social security is determined by our votes.

People have marched, fought and put their lives on the line for us to cast a ballot. Maybe you do not understand the sacrifice our ancestors fought tirelessly for. One day you should GROW UP and begin understanding. All persons of color and women should be the first in line to cast a ballot. From what I heard in the next year or so African Americans will not be able to vote at all (there is an expiration date on OUR Constitutional privileges).

When you go to the department of human services office to renew your link (EBT) application, your worker should offer you a voters registration form. The post office, all colleges and universities carry forms, as well as many churches. Facebook and other media outlets advertise how important it is to vote and you still come up with every excuse in the world as to why you were unable to vote. I find it very amusing how you can call off work to go and get your hair and nails done, but it does not cross your mind on election day. You can stand in line for hours to cop that new iPhone or the newest pair of Jordans, but you are not willing to stand in line for a few minutes to vote for the Mayor of your city.

It's always those individuals that make the most noise who do not vote. I'm tired of hearing about the decrease in food stamps, W.I.C., and so forward. Exercise your rights and stop complaining. It takes nothing to get up off your ass and go vote. When you do not vote you do not have any rights to be bitter, nor complain about anything that happens in society today. You think its hard now with the Republicans running the House and Senate? Wait until Sarah Palin or Donald Trump becomes president it's going to be hell to pay the captain. If you don't know what the Tea Party does, I suggest you start researching now.

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is an option. Be smart and utilize your rights to VOTE.

A Family???

Growing up I always wanted to have a big family. Five kids, all boys, was the plan...well until I realized how much work hard work it would take to fulfill those shoes. The idea changed after watching my parents start all over by raising four of their eight grandchildren. Then I never found the perfect guy who I thought would be a great father for my unborn children. No, I was not searching for prince charming or anything. Just someone who will be responsible and not have to depend on his parents to financially support his family; mainly his child(ren).

I broke the family norm (some call it curse) by waiting to even think about becoming pregnant. I've finished school and did a great deal traveling. I became an adult much sooner than I wanted. Being a broke college student would do that to you. I placed my goals and thoughts of a career before the idea of a family. I wanted to be stable before bringing a life into this world.

I've dated men who openly made it clear that they wanted a family. Many felt that I was the one, but the feelings wasn't mutual. A lot of times I wouldn't call the guy back after the first date. Other times I would express verbally my thoughts on children. Plus, I did not like that it became a topic on the first outing. Usually the roles are reversed and woman is the one to talk about children and the guy would run and hide. But with me I'm a different breed, I only know one other person like myself and that's my cousin, Bunny.

Now do not get me wrong. Yes, I do understand that there is no perfect man out here. However, I do believe that there are some very close to my idea of what perfect means. I stopped thinking about it and decided to allow God to do His thing. Ideally He has the ultimate say anyway.

My plans for life and many of my set goals were detoured when I decided to settle down with my honey. Yes, we've discussed having children and other options in the event that we're unable to. Right now just is not the time. Hell I'm still rearing and teaching him the ways of life. Once I'm done then maybe we can create some mini me's. I always said I need to have at least three before my thirtieth birthday. After thirty I have plans on being fit; two piece bikini and all (lol). Geesh, I just realized I have less than five years to accomplish this goal. My twenty-fifth birthday is around the darn corner. 

I have yet to sit and analyze my reasons for finding the prefect father. Maybe it is because my father wasn't there, but my DADDY was. I don't know ... I do not feel that a man is obligated to wipe another man's child ass. He can easily walk away. Yeah maybe this was the reason for me to search for the perfect father. Yes, I understand that relationships do not always work out, but that should not stop a man from raising his offspring.

SOUND OFF ... 

Ladies, what were/are your dreams of a family? Did it go as planned? Is your child(ren) father(s) actively involved in their lives? 

Men, did you ever dream of a having a family? How did it turn out for you? Are you actively involved in your child(ren) lives?

Uneducated Youth

I am not sure if many or any of you read the book written by Dr. Carter G. Woodson entitled, "The MisEducated Negro". Which questions 'Has the Negro been miseducated?'. The poignant words of Woodson still resonate in the African American communities through the United States. I'm not going to focus this topic on the book, however, I will discuss briefly the unbelievable illiteracy issues in the African American culture.

After being a faithful member of the social network, Facebook, for over six years I've grown to understand that the illiteracy rates are at an all time high. (Check out a few statuses from your friends list.) Especially, throughout the public schools system. The value of an education is not taken seriously and seems to be disregarded amongst my peers and many others in various age brackets. Looking at statistics is one thing, but viewing reality is another. The thoughts of young African Americans not taking the educational system serious devastates me. As an young adult I have witnessed on several accounts kids skipping school, leaving school early to hang out with their friends, destroy their brain cells with drug use, and asleep while sitting in class.

A few years back at a local public school on the west side of Chicago, I sat amongst a group of "educators". Neither of them were giving a lesson. At the time the students were supposed to be preparing for an upcoming state exam. They all sat gossiping about fellow co-workers and some students. One even blatantly stated, "I'm calling off tomorrow, I don't care about this fucking test. They can all fail for all I care." *I could not believe what I had just heard. I not only felt sympathy for the students, but, also for the public school system as a whole. I could not help but wonder, how many other educators are just there for the money?.

There was a time when our ancestors fought to attend school and some marched for an equality in education. Many had to secretly be taught how to read and write behind closed doors so their masters would not find out. Now present day its a different story. Students are unable to structure a sentence using proper grammar. Taking Pre-Calculus is considered an honors class. Students do not respect, nor, obey their teachers and other school staff. Parents are not actively involved in their child's education. Money is spent on the beautification of the campus and sports, instead on textbooks and other necessary supplies. Test scores are significantly lower than students of other cultures.

Whose to blame for the high illiteracy issues? I personally would blame everyone; parents, students, and the educators. These kids are our future and will be running the world and caring for us one day. Will you step up and help them out or will you sit back and watch them fail at life?

*Note: As an result of the schools low test score, all administrative staff and all teachers were relieved of there duties. The public school board hired all new educators; from the principal down to new P.E. teachers.

Sister Grenades

We, The Sister Grenades, know you guys have been missing us. We miss writing for you; our readers. As life and other successful accomplishments have been happening in our lives we have been secretly preparing a few good reads for the coming weeks ahead. We appreciate all of your love and support. We even enjoy the negative feedback we've received as well. In the words of Hugh Prather, "Negative feedback is better than none. I would rather have a man hate me than over look me. As long as he hates me I make a differences."

We know that we're doing something good, according to our statistics.

In the coming weeks be looking forward to:

• The College Days
• Dear Sister Grenades Column
• FB Drama Revealed and more...

8 Ways to Know You're Being Used

8. Self-Esteem Booster

Maybe your the plus-size friend in the group or even the not so pretty one. But you have the confidence of a super model. However your cute pretty friends grabs you as a go along for every mission ... not because your good friends, but because she stands out. Everyone notices her before you. Then you find yourself in the awkward situation were she's cracking jokes about you later to cover it up with the "I'm just playing" line.

7. Image

Men and women, both, choose beauty over brains, but someone individuals are too stupid to realize it. You're pretty enough to walk the carpet with, but you are told to be quiet and look to part.

6. Best Kept Secret

So you are not known amongst his family and friends. You are just as real as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Everyone in your circles has met him, but you cannot say the least in reference to him.

5. Other Chicks

What is this a polygamy camp? He only spends a small amount of time with you or can only visit you late at night. You've heard through the grapevine that you are just one of many. You are possibly sticking around because you love him, have a child(ren) with him, or you figure since you guy have been dating for years you might as well stay committed.

4. Control

Some men like to be in control. they will find the weakest chick and run over her.

3. Rebound

So you had him once and now you have him every now and again. In between he's in relationships with other women and when those fail who do he go to? You. Because you're the one he can always count on right? hmph!

2. Sex

Ever heard a guy ask if you guys can be just 'friends' with benefits? Or 'my girl don't know what she is doing in the bedroom so I can to you to fulfill my satisfaction'. Yes, these are things my peers tell me about the guys they are sleeping with.

1. MONEY

For the love of money, what people won't do? Their only friends with you because you have the funds to pay for everything. S/He's only dating  or sleeping with you because you can help him/her buy a new whip.

Maybe you can SOUND OFF and answer these questions for us ... Are you being used? Do you know someone that's being used and too naive to notice it?

"A wolf in sheep's clothing is still a wolf." Unknown

The Holy Bible

Last year in the month of October I made the decision to challenge myself by reading the Bible within one year. No one else, just me, myself and I. I figured hey if I can sit and read a black author written book within one hour, then I can read and study the Holy Bible in less than one year.

Before getting started my thoughts were positive ones. Well, except one; I knew I had to keep an open mind because this book was still written by man. Not only that, it has been translated and interpreted so many times. What I mean by that is the mere fact that most languages cannot be translated completely into another (mainly American English).  I have never heard of any negative things about the book. And that is what lead me to strong curiosity about one of the most controversial books in the world.

So after finally opening the book and getting deep into the book of Genesis, I had to stop numerous times because I was in great disbelief at what I was reading. The disbelief lead to a lot of questions. So I called my daddy a few times and he helped me to better understand what I was reading and why. Once finishing the good ol' book of Genesis, I searched through the preface and the entire back portion of the Bible seeking some type of DISCLAIMER. I can tell you that I definitely was not ready for what I was and still am reading.

Reading the Holy Bible is like watching a lifetime movie. There is so much drama and suspense. Sometimes I do not know if I should turn the page or close the book completely. I must admit at one point I did close the book, but then it hit me ... there is a reason why I need to continue reading it. I am gaining so must insight on how life and various cultures were back then. Everything that is written in the Old Testament is like dejavu. We all see it happening right now in present day. I am serious, everything from adultery to incest, slavery to genocide, voyeurism to rape and I can go on.

I personally would recommend everyone to develop and participate in a one year reading plan. There are a lot of churches doing this. Although, there is so much drama and questionable controversy it is a great read.  However, I would not recommend children reading the Holy Bible, until they are capable of fully understanding what they are reading.

Note: The photo depicts a humorous blog disclaimer. in no shape form or fashion do we agree with it. It was used as an idea to promote using disclaimer/warning for new readers. The Holy Bible has been around longer than most generations of man and so it is nonfiction, whereas, the photo states otherwise. I, also, recommend that you should take the readings literally for they may be beneficial.

He Put a Ring On It

Back in October 2008 singer/songwriter Beyonce introduced the world to her hit track Put a Ring on it. Everyone, including men, was grooving to the tune ... If he Liked it, Then he Should Have Put a Ring on it. She gave people the idea that if he wanted the woman to stick around then he should placed a ring her hand. After that we've found so many couples on FB getting either engaged or jumping the broom.

But what happens when that ring isn't all it's cracked up to be?. So he placed the ring on your hand. Later you set a date and the wedding planning begins. He was and still is charming and the most respectful human being you ever met. The big day finally arrives and you guys had the best 7 day honeymoon vacation ever. The entire time you tell yourself it's just too good to be true. He's everything you ever wanted.

The vacation is over and you merge from two separate households into one. Within months that ring begins to become over bearing and much more than you can handle. That ring provider turns out not to be the same man he presented himself prior to nuptials. The ring provider is abusive; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Yes, he is the same man the vowed to never hit or beat on you, nor, mistreat you. He places bruises on you in areas no one will ever see. In the public eye he portrays himself as someone other than the one you lay in bed with at night. So you fear that no one will believe you, not even your children.

Do you stay because you fear for your life? Or do you stay because you have a ring on?

Having a ring doesn't make you a woman, nor does it provide happiness. Real LOVE should never hurt you physically, verbally, mentally, or emotionally.


National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233)

Dedication to Our Favorite Girl

 

On this day back in 1968 God blessed the world with the most fabulous gift ever; our Mom (Mother Grenade). Today is her special day and we wanted to dedicate a poem to Our Favorite Girl.

Visionary Mom Mom, on your birthday
I celebrate you being you,
my extraordinary mother.
You have made such a difference,
created so much good in my life!
I celebrate your smart mothering,
your clever, creative methods
of gently molding your beloved child
into your vision of me:
a strong, capable adult,
an unselfish person of good character.
I celebrate your boundless
physical and emotional energy...
loving me, leading me, supporting me,
lifting me when I fall.
On your birthday, Mom,
I celebrate the best thing about my life...
having you as my mother. By Joanna Fuchshttp://www.poemsource.com/mother-birthday-poems.html

We just wanted to honor her for the woman she is today. Thank You Mother Grenade and most of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Is the Blood on my Hands?

A few years back I used to be cool with a group chicks who were raised under the Protestant Christian faith. After hanging with them a few times I later grew to learned that they were some very promiscuous beings. What tripped me out is the fact that their parents were super religious and sung joyfully for the Lord. Anyways back to them ... these chicks were getting pregnant left and right, but would immediately abort the fetus because they didn't want their parents to find out.

Well, one of the chicks got pregnant by her then boyfriend and decided to abort the fetus because she felt that if she kept the baby she wouldn't be able to go off to college. Although, the then boyfriend wanted her to keep the baby she still went behind his back and did it anyway. She needed someone to go with her and so I did - for moral support. I was being a 'friend' and as much as I am against abortions she needed someone to be there.

All while heading there and even the evening before I did my best to discourage her from doing so. It didn't work and after hours of sitting in the waiting room at a Plan Parent Hood it dawn on me that since I was there supporting her that I am just as guilty as she.

The thoughts of it destroyed me on the inside. I felt as if I was the murderer. I cried for days and later seek counseling from my pastor. During the session I reminder him of the story of Judas when he sold Christ (silly me because he knew the Bible very well) for a few pieces of silver. I explained to him in great detail that my heart was overwhelmed with pain and grief. And I wasn't sure of how to deal with it. He informed me that the blood was NOT on my hands. She along with the doctors, who performed the operation,  will have to go before the judge, our lord and savior, for what they have done. He reassured me that I was being just that a 'friend', even though it went against my beliefs, religion, and morals.

Up until that day I ask God to forgive me for even being there in that waiting room. I never thought that that would haunt me as much as it did. I've always heard stories of people who've had it done; many regret it and others are happy about their decision. I personally have always been a pro-life supporter. I believe there is no need to abort the life of someone who did not ask to be created. I look at it like this hey my mom gave me the opportunity to breathe and I will do the same once God blesses me with a few little ones.

I sometimes wonder if my former 'friend' think about it. Do she know that her child could have grown to become a future president, a renowned doctor, a scientist to discover the cure for HIV/AIDS, or billionaire. This world is full of opportunities.
*******************************************************

I am pro-choice. I believe that a woman has the right to choose whether or not she wants to carry a child, give birth, then raise a child. This is not an easy job seeing that I have carried two children. There is a lot to think about in the process of having a baby . Not all women just sleep around and then don't want to take care of the consequences. Some woman actually take the necessary precautions not to get pregnant and whether due to failure of birth control or rape the woman becomes pregnant with a child they do not want.

Now going and getting an abortion knowing full well that when you were in bed enjoying yourself ... no one was protected ... and no one even mentioned protection. That's a messed up reason for aborting a child.

On the other hand, I am also pro-choice because of the fact that some women themselves sometimes have to chose as I once have to either carry the fetus or abort it for their own health. Though I chose to keep my child and deal with the constant doctors appointments, bed-rest and everything else that came along with my child.

However other women may not be that strong or have the health to really carry the baby and their only result is death or abortion. Why would it be ok for any one to tell a woman that choosing herself over the fetus she is carrying is wrong?

Whatever the reason for any woman choosing to abort her child is her own reason; whether for health reasons or even petty reasons it is and should be her own. In the end she will have to deal with the grief or consequence on her own no matter emotional or spiritual. No one or law should be able to dictate a woman's choice to the happenings of her own body.


We know that this is a touchy topic, but what are your thoughts on this situation? Have you ever had an abortion? If so, does it still cross your mind? Do you regret it or are you happy or should I say satisfied with you decision?

Broken Relationships

It's a known factor that families tend to have the biggest drama. And will fight one another harder than they would someone off the street.

Breaking up to eventually make up seems to happen often, but what happens when the make up part is over looked?. Egos become too big to mend the broken relationship. No one wants to be the first to apologize. Majority of the time the confrontation begins the elders of the family and later picked up by the kids.

Although, I honestly do not know what happened to cause whatever the problem is, but let me be the first to say I AM SORRY. The situation has nothing to do with me, however, I'm choosing to be the bigger person. Why? Because I want this mess to end immediately. I figured if I be the first to do this then maybe this will influence, no better yet, encourage everyone else to join in and become one again. Keep in mind that blood is thicker than water and it's very hard to dilute it.


In the end we must understand that WE'RE ALL WE GOT.

The Mouths of Babies

Little Girls' Letter to Wayne, Rap Mogul

"Letter to Lil Wayne" is a direct statement of justice from Watoto From The Nile. Growing tired and fed up with the constant degredation of Black women inside of Hip Hop music, they voice thier views and opinions on this melodic track.

We came across this video while searching the internet and immediately fell in love with the message. We thought that this positive song can possibly influence Lil' Wayne and the likes of others to stop degrading women in their music. Ladies, we should all take heed of their example and let our voices be heard across the world for positive music.

Giving It Away

Let's face it! Many of us don't own a V-Card anymore so there is no need to pretend that we still have it in our wallet.

For many, it's been gone for a long time ... everyone's time is different ... but are their reasons?

So yeah, many give up the card for Love, Lust, or the most hilarious reason ... Payback a.k.a Rebound.

Lust:

High School Girl: He's cute, wears the best clothes, quarterback or star point guard. You met his mom once (when she caught y'all in his room), everybody know your together. Not to mention all your friends have had to take off their purity rings so why should you be the one still with one?
College Chick: His name is well know on campus, you have three of your four classes with him and in two of them you both are grouped together for class projects. The other night at the Frat party you both danced together all night. Your spending all this time together anyway ... he seems like he may be the one and you're thinking most college dudes are not going to wait ... are you really going to let him go?
Grown Woman: You've prided yourself in still being the pure one of your friends. Yet, you can't relate to any of the girl talk they have. You've been dating this guy and has chosen to start the three month rule. He's everything you think you want. Nice looking, good job, own place, car ... yeah he's your ideal guy. Girls night is coming up again and you want to have SOMETHING you can relate to your girls on. Your not in love and it's only been two and a half months ... but you want to be apart of the conversation this time! And whats one week before your initial plan anyway?

Love:

High School Girl, College Chick, Grown Woman: This is here because there are some who really find themselves in love with a guy who has not pressure us, is willing to wait, spends his every minute with us so that you are positive that there is no possible infidelity. This guy may not be the perfect image we imagined but he is the man you want. You can't imagine yourself without him and after long contemplating you find yourself wanting to share the most precious and priceless thing you have with him and only him.

PAYBACK:

Everyone: So you have tried making it work with him. He just don't want to act right. He's out cheating, not the calling, and texting the other girls but he's actually having sex and blaming his cheating ways on the fact that you won't give him any. You are hurt and you can't believe the audacity he has to use your wanting to wait as a reason for him to cheat. You get up enough nerve to want to leave. You meet another guy ... your not even near lust with him ... he will simply be your pawn in hurting the guy who hurt you. Will he know this? No. Will you ever tell? No. But you will ensure that once your relationship is out and known by everyone that's when you will you jump into full revenge mode. You don't wait long to knowingly hand him your V-Card. Making him think he's the lucky one when ultimately you have just decided that your virginity is the ONLY thing that could make the EX feel the pain you felt over and over again. You virginity is no longer a gift your giving away you have programmed your mind to think that once it's gone it's gone ... no need to attach feelings. After the initial pain, you get over it, start to enjoy the ride and after looking at the clock you saw that in all of three minutes you gave away the most sacred thing to you ... but because you pushed that thought to the side ... after you look at the clock you saw that in three minutes you have done that one thing that would hurt the ex.

So ... now that that's done. Time to inform the Ex. Oh but you can't do it directly. So we tell our friends, who tell their friends or their boyfriends who can't wait to inform the EX. He finds out ... get pissed off ... and there ... Mission Accomplished.

For whatever reason above you chose to hand over your V-card to a man and months or years later you are either still happy with your decision, heartbroken, or pissed at the reason you chose to give up. No matter what the reason was at the time you gave it up it seemed like a good idea. You seemed to have your mind made up THEN.

BUT NOW ...

Do you regret your reason? or are you still happy? C'mon ... Be Honest and ...

SOUND OFF!


Now it wouldn't be right to ask you all a question without answering it ourselves ... Big Sis ... your answer?

Well, Lil Sis, I must say that I am that entire description on LOVE. I dated a guy in high school; whom I am with now, who was respectful enough to wait and never pressured me, unlike the others I dated. After a while I chose to hand him my v-card because I felt that I was ready. He was my ideal guy and I had high hopes of 'US'. At the time I was pretty sure it going to be a forever/ lifetime, then years later we broke broke things off. Did I regret giving him my v-card? No, I didn't and still don't. We remained friends and my high hopes of US did eventually turn into a sacred promise of forever. And YES, I must admit that I am STILL happy with my decision. Giving my v-card away has taught me that my body is a temple and it should be respected as such. Any man that claims to love me should love me enough to wait and respect my values, health, and most of all my body. That is what Mr. Brown did and I love him for that.


Now what about you Lil Sis?...

*CLEARS THROAT* Now everyone knows good and well that my V-card is secure in my hand purse, back pocket, or wallet. I can't remember. lol No seriously we both hold that description on love. I mean honestly I was one of those girls who when in a relationship the kiss was as far as I was going and I didn't think about anything further. It wasn't as if I didn't know about the acts of sex, Mother Grenade explained those to me when I was about 7 or 8. I guess because it was explained to me so young and because I understood, I wasn't curious. I started to see my friends hand their cards over when we were young and then they would catch feelings for the guy and he was already out the door. I then promised myself that no matter how many guys I dated I wouldn't be like a few of my friends handing my card over because of  lust nor would I be like one to hand it over for payback. When I'd finally met who I wanted to hand my card over to I was happy with my decision because I knew the precautions and everything and if anything was to happen I knew he would be the one I shared the consequences with. It was my choice to hand it over to him and from that choice I have given birth to two of the greatest little people; one on Earth and one in Heaven.

The Man Child

This topic is about the guy who is grown according to government and state age law, but is a child mentally.


I am talking the guy who puts video games ahead of his male responsibilities.


The guy who needs to be reminded to wash his ass and take out the trash on a daily basis.




The guy who needs to be taught right from wrong because apparently his momma was too busy bragging on how she is the best single mother to teach him.


The guy who figures he's the best father in the world because he pick his child up on weekends. He believes that spending time with his child (ren) means dropping them off at his moms crib while he goes and kick it.


The guys whose seems to be ready to settle down with a woman but fears that his friends would consider him a sell out.


I'm talking about the guy who believes that emotionally and physically abusing his girl makes him a man.


The guy who believes that being fly is more important than paying rent or opening up a checking account or better yet investing.


The guy who believes that being the head of the house means controlling and dictating who and what can and cannot be done.


The guy who rather live in filth than clean up.


The guys who grew up in a predominantly female household but still forgets to let the toilet seat down.




Now that thats out the way. I wonder if you ... yeah you there reading this post ... know any of the Manboy references personally. Do any names of people you know come up?


Are you one of the women allowing the Manboy to exisit in your home or relationship?


Now it's easy to put the blame soley on the Manboy himself but if you are constantly allowing the game to be played while the garbage piles up or the stench of his body to remain the smell of your home then you are labeled as a Manboy Inabler.




Are you going to work all day while he sleeps the day away or gets high all day and drink all night but your making sure his pockets are filled with your hard earned money so that he doesn't look bad in front of his friends.


This could be your man, your brother, cousin, or friend you can't let go of. The guy you have to feed, provide shelter for, washed his clothes, and care for him when he should know how to do these things for himself.


He is not a man, but a child that will never grow up if you keep sheltering him.

Lunch Time Honesty Minute: Being Overlooked

Growing up I was in alot of competitions. Yes I did the school competitions but I'm talking about citywide, statewide, and National competitions.

I was looked at as a leader for whatever age group I was in at the time and I competed against people my age and much older than me. I would often win it was just that when I got to the final competitions I was met with a challenge.


In majority of these competitions I had to do a lot of interviews and say many speeches and each time I excelled. It was one competition that I went to the top in four years straight and I was met with the same problem every time.

I knew as well as every one else knew that I'd deserved the title I was competing for except the judges.

Look ...

Every person I competed against would hold out secret weapons until the final speeches. Thats when they let the sob stories began. I mean you could hear anything from how they are suffering from not having a father figure to them being dyslexic. I mean ANYTHING. Now I'm not saying that these things aren't true however they knew as well as their coaches knew that this was what would help them win the competition.

Now, yes I called them sob stories because every time this happened they started to cry crocodile tears. While me and my whole family sat at the table and literally admitted that I wouldn't be winning this year.

The last year I did this competition I decided it would be my last. I actually felt that it was pointless for me to go through all the hooplah involved!

Why did I feel it was pointless?

Well put it like this. I grew up in a two parent home, good grades, no learning disabilities, I wasn't in any near death experiences, I could read, I wasn't a reformed bad ass ... none of that. I was a normal kid for my age with goals just like the others. There were times where some of my coaches felt that I should lie and say I had a problem to get me ahead in the competition. I wouldn't have that.

That final competition day came and I was luckily the last to go up. I was last after everyone had cried and given some of their deepest secrets or their supposed biggest "challenges". This year it was clear that everybody was full of shit and even they knew it.

I got on stage and spoke about how it is wrong to look over someone for doing well without having been through a bunch of obstacles. I pointed out how most of the problems these people claimed was because of their own actions and bad decisions. I didn't shed a tear and I ended very nicely with a fuck you. Not those words exactly. But trust me EVERYONE got the hint.

I didn't expect to win and I didn't. I hoped I didn't because I'd expressed how the competition was clearly bullshit.

The moral is that:

When you know your being looked over stand up and say something because as long as you allow bullshit to fly it will. Don't be a bird.

My Wedding ... But You Want To Be in WHITE?

I always hear stories from grown women about how they always dreamed of their fairy tale wedding. Well, I must admit I never really pictured myself ever getting married. I was the type a guy can invite to accompany him to wedding and would not get any ideas from it. Whereas, you have women out there who are just fascinated by the idea. A guy takes them and later he cannot breathe without being pressured about getting engaged or how big THEIR wedding will turn out.

Although, I never dreamt of getting married it was apart of God's plan for me. After being engaged for approximately one year, I took heed of wedding planning fascination. Well, ... that was up until my... let's just say she's my biggest admirer attempted to ruin it all. She had the audacity to tell me that at my wedding the guest will not know who's the bride; me or her. I kind of threw up in my mouth not only because of the blood relations, but, also, for the thought of that being said just made me sick to my stomach. She was even proud to inform me that she will be losing weight and her DRESS will be flawless...lol. From my understanding she had already walked down the aisle, but that situation didn't last. I can honestly say I know why it didn't.

It's MY WEDDING, but you want to be in WHITE? Totally inappropriate right? Why would anyone want to wear white to someone else's wedding? Or better yet, why would anyone woman try to out shine the soon-to-be bride? She should instantly becoming a dis-invited guest? Apparently she need some attention she seems to be trying any and everything to get me off my square? All of these questions and then some maybe crossing your mind right. But for me ... I simply just laugh at clowns. That's what they get paid for right, to make a fool of themselves. It's all good though. If I were in her shoes I'll hate on me too...lol.

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The reference to another woman wearing white at your wedding could be interpreted into her wanting to still your shine. I had my wedding and I had always seen myself getting married. At age 21 not so much but thats how my cards played out and I love the hand I was dealt.

I didn't have anyone threatening to outshine me at my wedding but I did have the Peanut Gallery trying to put their wedding wishes in my wedding because they KNEW theirs was NEVER going to happen!

I had it all planned. I wouldn't be a Bridezilla, I chose women who were financially capable to participate in my wedding .. I gave due dates to when certain items needed to be purchased. I thought I did fine. I chose flattering dresses so that no matter what the size no one looked a mess. It was my wedding I was doing it the way I wanted to.

I started having complaints about how people didn't like that they had to have their hair up or that they had to wear flat shoes. Well over the going months I changed my mind due to the look I was planning for myself. So since my hair was going to be up ... Bridesmaids received text messages that their hair would be down. Since the dresses came back much longer than expected ... Bridesmaids received texts stating that now they would be in heels. I'd heard the "Flats? I want to wear heels" and "Wear my hair up? My neck is too long!" Those statements then turned to "Heels? Im too tall for heels!" and "I don't like how my hair looks when it's down!"

I started to feel as if may be just may be i was being fucked messed with. I had informed my whole wedding party of ALL of the goings ons of the wedding to where people were reminding me of things! I tried to handle all problems while they were just starting so that nothing got big. But this one problem seemed to feel that everything was going TOO WELL. So thats when EVERY little thing became a big issue.

I started to feel as if the circle of people I'd chosen to be main parts in the wedding started to break and it was all because someone hadn't seen any problems go on and wanted to start them.

Needless to say that problem was eliminated and my wedding day went as planned.

Even though this problem wasn't as bold as my sister's threatening to where white and blatantly expressing how "sure" they were that someone would mistake her as the Bride. My problem was trying to be a threat the whole wedding process with all the bitching complaining that was going on. And thought that maybe just maybe if I'd done my wedding the way she wish her's would go that she would possibly stand out more as the brains behind the operations.

It's okay though! Because MY BIG DAY went off without a problem and Big Sister Grenade so will yours .... Mother Grenade will definitely make sure of it! Just as she did mine.*wink*

SOUND OFF!

5 Club No No's

Photo Courtesy of princeofpetworth.com

Nights Clubs all over the world have rules and regulations. Many of us follow and abide the rules, while others disregard them and eventually cannot enter or later gets put out the establishment. What happens when people do things or show up in something that make you think like, damn, don't they have rules against that?

Well, we have created Five (5) Club No No's ...

5. Sunglasses

I've never seemed to understand the purpose of rocking shades in the club. Not only is it pitch black outside, but also in the club. What can/could you possibly see?

4. Extremely Tall Heels

If you never wore heels before or could barely stand in 3 inches, I do not think its acceptable to wear heel 5 to 7 inches high. Its understandable that you want to be cute. So at the last minute you ran to Chernins or that little boutique that over charge you to make a profit. You end up looking like a fool tip toeing around the dance floor because your feet are hurting. You even walk out the club shoeless because you no longer could bare the pain of walking in your stilettos. Do understand if you choose to spend a few extra dollars for the shoes you can actually walk in not only will you be more comfortable but you wouldn't look like a fool walking bare foot out of the club.

3. Females in Tennis/ Gym Shoes

In the typical night club it is against the rules to wear tennis shoes. However, I have been noticing that few the still gets in their Air One's and Jordan's that came out that Saturday and their outfit that has the exact same colors as the new shoe their rocking! Not only do you look more foolish than the girls in the heels they can't fit but some ladies in gym shoes actually have the nerve to turn their noses up at the women who do follow the rules. I would say that these girls need to grow up but on the other hand I actually put some of the blame on the friends who walk out the house all nice and dressed up and they don't insist that their friend change her shoes to something more appropriate to look like she actually belong with the group!

2. Super Short Skirts/ Dresses

So this made the list because I have actually experienced seeing a chick dancing in the club wearing a short dress without the proper underwear on and sadly her monthly material was exposed as well. Spanks are not much and Walmart have a great brand that would work under a dress. If your going to go tiny don't think that your typical granny panties are ok. The best advice would be not to bend over and shake your tail in front of a group of people trying to show off the new dance move you learned the day before without being sure that you have on the proper materials not to make an ass of yourself on or off the dance floor. Oh and a small piece of advice ... ladies shave or get a bikini wax.

1. Pregnant

Yes! Preggo, Preggy, Pregnant. This was a suggested topic for us to blog about and we easily knew that this was the number 1 no no! Walking in the club and your belly is clearly showing whether your three months, six months, or nine months ... You should not be there. I think it starts with who you go to the club with they shouldn't have invited you or shouldn't have let you in the car. Then I put some blame on the guards at the door ... they  shouldn't even let you in! Next blame goes to the first, second, third and so on guy that dances with you! Lastly the blame goes on the woman herself! Why would you think for a second that it's acceptable for you to go to the club with your belly sticking out for a actual reason! Thinking more on the safety side of this, why would you go somewhere that you know would possibly be crowded, where people will be bumping into you knowing that you could potentially get upset or hurt physically. Think I'm lying? One woman who survived the E2 night club tragedy in Chicago was pregnant. She made it out alive but her baby was the one who didn't.

This isn't to say that you could lose your baby but I'm sure that when she went to the club that night she didn't think she would either. This is to say that being Pregnant is the number one No No in the club  because you are the one person there who has more than one person to protect while you are there. Not to mention you just look like a damn fool holding your belly while you trying to drop it low or while throwing that bottle back! Don't believe me check out this idiot ... HOTT MESS right?

What are your top things that shouldn't be in the club?

SOUND OFF!!!

Lunch Time Honesty Minute: Name Brand

As I walk into Target ... first stop the Dollar Spot!
Walk into Walmart ... first stop ... the $3.50 tables!

Hello, I'm Little Sister Grenade and I'm CHEAP! Yep I am ... I admit it! It's not like I ever had a problem admitting it I have always been this way.

When I was about 6 or 7 my Daddy came home excited to show me a pair of Nike gym shoe's he'd bought me. I looked at them and asked for the price. Not because I wanted to make sure he paid alot. He gave me the price and I informed him that he could have bought me four pair of shoes from payless.

When my siblings were asking for the name brand clothes and gym shoes I was asking to go to walmart and payless. I was the girl in school who wore the casual shoes while everyone else wore the air forces and jordans.

Old Navy soon became my RocaWear and BabyPhat. I was still in stlye with whatever the trends were it 's just that I cared less whether it  had a name on it.

Honestly... mind wise I think  it's a sad thing to have to have name brands. Now if it's a choice then by God enjoy yourself. But when the only thing you will spend your (or someone elses) funds on has to have a name clearly showing off of it I think it's really sad.

I have bought gift for peoples children and have heard complaints about how I make so much money and couldn't get their child name brand. Needless to say ... thats where the gifts for her and her child ended. I have even had people tell me not to get their family or significant other anything because he/she wouldn't even were it whether it's clothing or cologne.

When my nieces came to live with us and I went out and bought them something you could bet your bottom dollar it was not as expensive as other children but in the end they looked ten times better. I have my own two babies now and though my little girl doesn't wear a lick of name brand unless its bought by someone else she's still considered a little trendsetter.

My boy on the other hand was a test for me. When he first came to live with me the first thing I bought him were a pair of Timberland boots. Not because they were Timberland but because it was winter time and payless didn't have his size and they were on sale. I do admit to making sure my nephew has on nice gymshoes but for the same amount of Nikes he have he has the same amount of none brand shoes whether from Family Dollar, Childrens Place, Walmart or Payless. To think about he has way more none brand then name brand.

I have and still am watching people go broke because of their need for Name Brand items. Spoiling their children into thinking that they must have the newest shoe or they must have the outfit with all the designs and the big name on it in order to think they look nice. I actually think that people shouldn't use name brand as a spoiling tool for them or their children until you are literally living on your own.

Managing bills and rent will be much harder when your trying to keep up with the name brand clothing your friends are wearing. I can honestly say that when I moved into my own place I was able to continue shopping the way I liked to because I was shopping affordable. Which showed me how to live.

If name brands are getting all your money but CEDA hears from you about bills every six months or your making up a new name every month to keep your real needs afloat. Your priorities needs to be re-evaluated.

Think about it?

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards.