The Holy Bible

Last year in the month of October I made the decision to challenge myself by reading the Bible within one year. No one else, just me, myself and I. I figured hey if I can sit and read a black author written book within one hour, then I can read and study the Holy Bible in less than one year.

Before getting started my thoughts were positive ones. Well, except one; I knew I had to keep an open mind because this book was still written by man. Not only that, it has been translated and interpreted so many times. What I mean by that is the mere fact that most languages cannot be translated completely into another (mainly American English).  I have never heard of any negative things about the book. And that is what lead me to strong curiosity about one of the most controversial books in the world.

So after finally opening the book and getting deep into the book of Genesis, I had to stop numerous times because I was in great disbelief at what I was reading. The disbelief lead to a lot of questions. So I called my daddy a few times and he helped me to better understand what I was reading and why. Once finishing the good ol' book of Genesis, I searched through the preface and the entire back portion of the Bible seeking some type of DISCLAIMER. I can tell you that I definitely was not ready for what I was and still am reading.

Reading the Holy Bible is like watching a lifetime movie. There is so much drama and suspense. Sometimes I do not know if I should turn the page or close the book completely. I must admit at one point I did close the book, but then it hit me ... there is a reason why I need to continue reading it. I am gaining so must insight on how life and various cultures were back then. Everything that is written in the Old Testament is like dejavu. We all see it happening right now in present day. I am serious, everything from adultery to incest, slavery to genocide, voyeurism to rape and I can go on.

I personally would recommend everyone to develop and participate in a one year reading plan. There are a lot of churches doing this. Although, there is so much drama and questionable controversy it is a great read.  However, I would not recommend children reading the Holy Bible, until they are capable of fully understanding what they are reading.

Note: The photo depicts a humorous blog disclaimer. in no shape form or fashion do we agree with it. It was used as an idea to promote using disclaimer/warning for new readers. The Holy Bible has been around longer than most generations of man and so it is nonfiction, whereas, the photo states otherwise. I, also, recommend that you should take the readings literally for they may be beneficial.

Double Standards

"No boyfriends or dating until you are 16!"

I wonder how many girls have heard such a saying. I have! My daddy told me this and he meant it! Did I obey? No. Should I have? Honestly? No. I went through  a few frogs to get my Prince and I'm afraid had I started at 16 I would still be putting my lipgloss on for some frogs!

But back to the words above ... I was not supposed to have a boyfriend until I was 16 nor was I supposed to date. I couldn't have a guy that was a friend come and sit on my couch until I was 16! I never understood the age 16 reference but I guess that's when the rule makers thought a girl was old enough to handle dating and it was passed down through the times and it skipped most households beside my own. However, I never dated seriously, long term until I turned 15 and shockingly my Dad approved. He only approved because he thought his threat that in order for me to become someones girlfriend the guy had to sit down and have a talk with him.

I remember oh so vividly of the night that happened! After months of me and the guy sitting on the porch together for hours my dad had friends over and said for me and the guy to go and sit in the kitchen. The guy was curious as to why it was his first time in my house ... I explained to him the rules my dad once laid out for him and when I turned my back he was gone out on the porch to my dad and his friends and had asked if he could speak with him about becoming my boyfriend. Me and Mother Grenade had our ears stuck to the door but couldn't hear much. We just knew that when he came back in he asked me if I would be his girl and I proudly accepted!

That wasn't the end though ...I guess I wasn't trustworthy because it went from sitting on the porch to only sitting in the kitchen, to sitting on separate couches in the front room to him sitting in a chair while I sat on my bed with the door wide open. How about having to show receipts with dates and timestamps from restaurants when we went out on dates ... Let me not forget being able to go to his house but having to take my little brother with me.

Speaking of Little Brothers ... here is where the double standard came in! He was 12 being encourage to have a girlfriend ... 13 when he got one and she was allowed to lay on the couch with him, sit in his room or rather lay in his room with the bedroom door closed. He was allowed to go out on dates and go to her house without another sibling around to inform our parents later of the happenings of the time spent away from home.

Did this initially bother me? No. Until I noticed that he was free to do as he pleased (innocently as far as I know) while I was still making sure the waiter gave us a receipt that had all the information I needed.

My sister and I often joked about the double standards in our household and often I wondered what affect those standards would have on my relationship. Maybe I didn't like my restrictions then and I still wouldn't choose certain ones for my own daughter but I do think that those restrictions strengthened my relationship with my now Husband because not  many men would put up with a girl who came with so many rules, whose couch he didn't sit on until after their 1 year anniversary. A girl who every family member he met grilled and threatened him, who babysat for hours and asked for his assistance every step of the way.

I thank my parents for the restrictions because they ultimately became challenges I wouldn't have thought to put a guy through. I thank my husband for sticking it out and ultimately popping the big question! But I also thank my brother for just being there and being the reason for me hating double standards ... because every rule that was made I broke my neck not to break, and every challenge they put out I made sure I succeeded! Example: They asked for receipts with dates and timestamps, I also showed the timestamps on my bus cards! lol

....Big Sis, I Pulled the Grenade Pin ... Now You Can SOUND OFF...

Well, Lil Sis, I'm glad the rule maker's rules did not skip our home. I was the "tester child", so you did not have to bare witness to half of the rules as I had to. However, I am thankful because I watched as so many of my peers became pregnant, contracted a sexually transmitted infection, or did some things I just did not want to associate myself with.

I remember my first year of high school one evening I bought home a good guy friend of mine and before we could sit down and begin on our homework my dad politely asked for him to leave and never come back...then told him I would walk him to the bus stop just to make sure he made it out of the neighborhood safely. Yep!, my daddy put him out. I didn't understand if he got put out for being older then myself or because I invited him over before asking my parents permission...lol.

I think it took about two years or so before I could have any guys to stop the house after that situation. I was able to date more, but my parents had to meet the guy in order for me to go out on a date with me. If any guy had the audacity to blow the horn oh I wasn't going anywhere with him. He had to come and ring the door bell. This was my parents way of teaching me how a guy should respect me.

Yes, I experienced having my baby brother being a babysitter. However, I never had to take him out on a date with me, but if I had a guy over visiting while my parents were not home, yeah baby bro had to sit in the room with us. And when my parents returned home they knew everything from a to z because he told it all. Now, my brother gets away with so much because he is a guy. Until this day I complain to my parents about how wrong they are for letting him get away with murder. Their response as always 'he's a guy and its different'.

Those rules or should I say double standards that were instill in our household did a great deal of justice for the both of us. Those rules helped me choose not only the right man, but, also, determined my way of living.

SOUND OFF...What Do You Think? Do you believe the double standard rules are fair?

YES, YOU'RE MY FATHER, BUT NOW YOU WANT TO PLAY DADDY

SO...NOW YOU WANT TO BE A DADDY???

Growing up so many people, young and old, think highly of their fathers. Even when our mothers attempt to prove to us on numerous occasions that he, he aint shit. All of the false promises, the forgotten birthdays, every missed Christmas and I could go on...; we fail to realize that he's not who we would like for him to be. But when we grow up, we learn the true realities of life by growing mentally and finally understanding that our fathers are just that sperm donors.

Who do we blame? Do we blame his mother for not keeping a positive male figure in his life? Do we blame his father for not being a DADDY? Or do we blame him for not trying to beat all of the odds against him by becoming the DADDY he always yearn for himself?

So you heard another man is being a DADDY to you baby and the word has gotten around...Another man signed my birth certificate and even gave me his last name and where were you?. Seventeen years later you decide to walk into my life and want to play the role of daddy. You even had the audacity to ask if I'll change my last name to yours. What??? All of this could have been, if you would have stood as the man you claim to be and did your fatherly duties prior to me taking my first breath outside of my mothers womb.

Where were you when I kept my mom up all night and she had to be at school the next morning? Where were you every time I scrape my knee and needed someone to hold me and reassure that everything will be fine? Where were you when I wanted to learn how to ride a bike? Where were you on report card day, school performances, birthday parties, graduations, and other accomplishments? Where were you when that guy I dated broke my heart for the first time? Well you wasn't there, but my real DADDY was to fill into the shoes you never placed your feet in. It is a shame HE PICKED UP WHERE YOU NEVER LEFT OFF. But now after all these years you want to be a daddy.

You are my father and that is the only thing I thank you for being; the man that had the fun of creating me. Glad my mom had the sense to leave your sorry ass alone and got a hold of a real man who knew how to take care HIS responsibilities.


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I am dealing with the same situation, just not with my own father. My brother has had Five kids all in the system and living with either my parents or with me. He has four girls and from the time majority of the babies were one years old the only father figure they knew besides my Dad was my husband. They said Mar Mar before mouthing the words DA-DA like most other children. This was always just funny because these girls knew that my brother was their Father but when it came down to discipline or wanting affection, my brother could be in the same room and the girls will either go to my husband or cry out for him. I knew that must have hurt my brother but in that situation I only cared a little.

Five years went past and my nieces finally got a little brother. This little boy was due one week before my own son, so when the subject of which family member would care for him came up I made sure that me and my husband were clear that it would NOT be us. Time passed and so did the child I was carrying ... I had no intention of caring for someone else son who was due only eight days before my own son was. I considered it at first too emotional to handle then I took it as a sign that me and my husband can raise a child who needs a home.

When I got my nephew, he was two months old, the earliest we'd received any of my brothers children and because I worked over night my husband was the one who had the sleepless nights with a child who was having nightly withdraws from the drugs in his system. Naturally my nephew thought this was his father. No matter how many "I love my UNCLE" shirts we bought he saw this man as his father.

When talking started my nephew was the first of all my brothers children to call my husband "DADDY" and no matter how we tried to correct him we realized that he would NOT correct himself. My brother heard of this and swore we did it on purpose ... my attitude was WHO IS HE TO HAVE AN OPINION? My nephew don't know him! All he knows is the man he calls Daddy! The day my brother expressed his dislike of the situation was the day I stopped correcting my nephew. A one year old was giving credit where credit was due and I should have been too.