Monday, March 7, 2011

Giving It Away

Let's face it! Many of us don't own a V-Card anymore so there is no need to pretend that we still have it in our wallet.

For many, it's been gone for a long time ... everyone's time is different ... but are their reasons?

So yeah, many give up the card for Love, Lust, or the most hilarious reason ... Payback a.k.a Rebound.

Lust:

High School Girl: He's cute, wears the best clothes, quarterback or star point guard. You met his mom once (when she caught y'all in his room), everybody know your together. Not to mention all your friends have had to take off their purity rings so why should you be the one still with one?
College Chick: His name is well know on campus, you have three of your four classes with him and in two of them you both are grouped together for class projects. The other night at the Frat party you both danced together all night. Your spending all this time together anyway ... he seems like he may be the one and you're thinking most college dudes are not going to wait ... are you really going to let him go?
Grown Woman: You've prided yourself in still being the pure one of your friends. Yet, you can't relate to any of the girl talk they have. You've been dating this guy and has chosen to start the three month rule. He's everything you think you want. Nice looking, good job, own place, car ... yeah he's your ideal guy. Girls night is coming up again and you want to have SOMETHING you can relate to your girls on. Your not in love and it's only been two and a half months ... but you want to be apart of the conversation this time! And whats one week before your initial plan anyway?

Love:
High School Girl, College Chick, Grown Woman: This is here because there are some who really find themselves in love with a guy who has not pressure us, is willing to wait, spends his every minute with us so that you are positive that there is no possible infidelity. This guy may not be the perfect image we imagined but he is the man you want. You can't imagine yourself without him and after long contemplating you find yourself wanting to share the most precious and priceless thing you have with him and only him.


PAYBACK:
Everyone: So you have tried making it work with him. He just don't want to act right. He's out cheating, not the calling, and texting the other girls but he's actually having sex and blaming his cheating ways on the fact that you won't give him any. You are hurt and you can't believe the audacity he has to use your wanting to wait as a reason for him to cheat. You get up enough nerve to want to leave. You meet another guy ... your not even near lust with him ... he will simply be your pawn in hurting the guy who hurt you. Will he know this? No. Will you ever tell? No. But you will ensure that once your relationship is out and known by everyone that's when you will you jump into full revenge mode. You don't wait long to knowingly hand him your V-Card. Making him think he's the lucky one when ultimately you have just decided that your virginity is the ONLY thing that could make the EX feel the pain you felt over and over again. You virginity is no longer a gift your giving away you have programmed your mind to think that once it's gone it's gone ... no need to attach feelings. After the initial pain, you get over it, start to enjoy the ride and after looking at the clock you saw that in all of three minutes you gave away the most sacred thing to you ... but because you pushed that thought to the side ... after you look at the clock you saw that in three minutes you have done that one thing that would hurt the ex.

So ... now that that's done. Time to inform the Ex. Oh but you can't do it directly. So we tell our friends, who tell their friends or their boyfriends who can't wait to inform the EX. He finds out ... get pissed off ... and there ... Mission Accomplished.

For whatever reason above you chose to hand over your V-card to a man and months or years later you are either still happy with your decision, heartbroken, or pissed at the reason you chose to give up. No matter what the reason was at the time you gave it up it seemed like a good idea. You seemed to have your mind made up THEN.

BUT NOW ...

Do you regret your reason? or are you still happy? C'mon ... Be Honest and ...

SOUND OFF!


Now it wouldn't be right to ask you all a question without answering it ourselves ... Big Sis ... your answer?

Well, Lil Sis, I must say that I am that entire description on LOVE. I dated a guy in high school; whom I am with now, who was respectful enough to wait and never pressured me, unlike the others I dated. After a while I chose to hand him my v-card because I felt that I was ready. He was my ideal guy and I had high hopes of 'US'. At the time I was pretty sure it going to be a forever/ lifetime, then years later we broke broke things off. Did I regret giving him my v-card? No, I didn't and still don't. We remained friends and my high hopes of US did eventually turn into a sacred promise of forever. And YES, I must admit that I am STILL happy with my decision. Giving my v-card away has taught me that my body is a temple and it should be respected as such. Any man that claims to love me should love me enough to wait and respect my values, health, and most of all my body. That is what Mr. Brown did and I love him for that.


Now what about you Lil Sis?...

*CLEARS THROAT* Now everyone knows good and well that my V-card is secure in my hand purse, back pocket, or wallet. I can't remember. lol No seriously we both hold that description on love. I mean honestly I was one of those girls who when in a relationship the kiss was as far as I was going and I didn't think about anything further. It wasn't as if I didn't know about the acts of sex, Mother Grenade explained those to me when I was about 7 or 8. I guess because it was explained to me so young and because I understood, I wasn't curious. I started to see my friends hand their cards over when we were young and then they would catch feelings for the guy and he was already out the door. I then promised myself that no matter how many guys I dated I wouldn't be like a few of my friends handing my card over because of  lust nor would I be like one to hand it over for payback. When I'd finally met who I wanted to hand my card over to I was happy with my decision because I knew the precautions and everything and if anything was to happen I knew he would be the one I shared the consequences with. It was my choice to hand it over to him and from that choice I have given birth to two of the greatest little people; one on Earth and one in Heaven.

2 comments:

Ndpndentwoman said...

Guess I'll be the first to comment It was a little of both lust and love for me and although it sounds crazy its o so true I gave my "v-card" up to a person I knew a very long time lets just say more than 7 years although we were never dating I felt like he was a brother we but I secretly had a crush on him it was like puppy love at first but after it turn to being that "I cant see myself with any one else love" but anyway we started dating and I gave him part of me I dont regret it at all and if I could do it all over again I think that I would although we didnt work out we are still good friends!!

Thickcurlgurl70 said...

Hmmm the V-Card..lol It began with Lust; having a crush on my HS sweetheart for an entire year before he even knew my name turned into LOVE the day he showed up at my door unexpectedly, although I didnt give him my address. Although, I saw forever, it didnt turn out that way; but giving the V-Card over to him will never be a regret of mine. I often think of how blessed I was to have been treated respectfully as he patiently waited for me to say yes. How our families were bonded together and all the stars seemed to align for a successful future. But life can take a turn as it did 4 years later; but some(most)women will never know that feeling because they were forced or manipulated or battled with low self worth when their V Card was relinquished. Although marriage wasnt the end game; I'm thankful for the cards I was dealt.