Arguments

I used to always hear the way you grew up hearing arguments will be the way you would argue. Then it was shown to me on the tv show Lets Stay Together where the engaged couple mimicked the argument style of their parents. One would just walk away from an argument and stay silent and let it fester ... the other was used to attempting to "talk" something out and then always found themselves screaming!

You have some people who says that they argue because they love someone, then you find that arguing is the only way to solve a problem.

We argue with our siblings, other family, friends, neighbors, significant others, co-workers, teachers, even other drivers. You can be over happy and then find yourself pissed the next minute. When things aren't always in your favor and you take the frustration out on someone else.

Most arguments start over the smallest things that blow up during confrontations that bring out thoughts that would not typically be revealed.

I argue with my husband, who doesn't. We argue if he farts in the car with all the windows up, who's going to change the shitty pamper, who will make that 5am bottle for the baby, why didn't one of us spray the bathroom when we came out, did you really leave the top off the toothpaste, why did you throw my face towel in the laundry bag, who's gonna pay the bills over the phone, why do I have to carry more bags from the car, who's gonna get the baby cup out the car, why would you use the last q-tip, drink the last cup of kool-aid, did you really not wash the dishes, who left the mayonnaise on the table!??!

Seems like petty reasons right? I felt the same way until Daddy Grenade heard one of our arguments and said: "I'm so glad y'all arguments aren't really over nothing big". That got me to thinking our arguments be less than five minutes long and typically end with us laughing or the other coming into the room giving a hug and kiss and tickling the other. I don't have the big money fights or the what time you get in spats, who's texting you talks, who was the girl/guy you had in the car arguments. I began to be happy about my small petty arguments.

SOUND OFF...

How big or small are your arguments? Do they fester for days or are they mended before you guys go to bed?

A Family???

Growing up I always wanted to have a big family. Five kids, all boys, was the plan...well until I realized how much work hard work it would take to fulfill those shoes. The idea changed after watching my parents start all over by raising four of their eight grandchildren. Then I never found the perfect guy who I thought would be a great father for my unborn children. No, I was not searching for prince charming or anything. Just someone who will be responsible and not have to depend on his parents to financially support his family; mainly his child(ren).

I broke the family norm (some call it curse) by waiting to even think about becoming pregnant. I've finished school and did a great deal traveling. I became an adult much sooner than I wanted. Being a broke college student would do that to you. I placed my goals and thoughts of a career before the idea of a family. I wanted to be stable before bringing a life into this world.

I've dated men who openly made it clear that they wanted a family. Many felt that I was the one, but the feelings wasn't mutual. A lot of times I wouldn't call the guy back after the first date. Other times I would express verbally my thoughts on children. Plus, I did not like that it became a topic on the first outing. Usually the roles are reversed and woman is the one to talk about children and the guy would run and hide. But with me I'm a different breed, I only know one other person like myself and that's my cousin, Bunny.

Now do not get me wrong. Yes, I do understand that there is no perfect man out here. However, I do believe that there are some very close to my idea of what perfect means. I stopped thinking about it and decided to allow God to do His thing. Ideally He has the ultimate say anyway.

My plans for life and many of my set goals were detoured when I decided to settle down with my honey. Yes, we've discussed having children and other options in the event that we're unable to. Right now just is not the time. Hell I'm still rearing and teaching him the ways of life. Once I'm done then maybe we can create some mini me's. I always said I need to have at least three before my thirtieth birthday. After thirty I have plans on being fit; two piece bikini and all (lol). Geesh, I just realized I have less than five years to accomplish this goal. My twenty-fifth birthday is around the darn corner. 

I have yet to sit and analyze my reasons for finding the prefect father. Maybe it is because my father wasn't there, but my DADDY was. I don't know ... I do not feel that a man is obligated to wipe another man's child ass. He can easily walk away. Yeah maybe this was the reason for me to search for the perfect father. Yes, I understand that relationships do not always work out, but that should not stop a man from raising his offspring.

SOUND OFF ... 

Ladies, what were/are your dreams of a family? Did it go as planned? Is your child(ren) father(s) actively involved in their lives? 

Men, did you ever dream of a having a family? How did it turn out for you? Are you actively involved in your child(ren) lives?