I'd Rather Go Blind

Have you ever been in love so strong you felt as if you had the Etta James syndrome? You know that love that makes you put Etta's tune on repeat. Singing from the bottom of your lungs how "you rather be blind, then to see him walk away from you." Now that's some strong love to have for any human being. It's like an inability to lose the man that you hold close to your heart. This type of love is hard to mask. You hear about woman throughout the world doing some outrageous things after or prior to a man leaving them. Most recently a woman drove her car in the ocean (not sure if it was a river) and drown herself and four of her five children. That just goes to show love can hurt, harm, and even kill.

When it comes to men, rather he's yours or if you're borrowing (we do not condone this) you have to be very careful loving them. Especially when you borrowing or should I say sharing with someone else. Now do not get me wrong there are some men out here that will love you back ten times more than you may love yourself. Love will slap you in the face when you least expect it to. However, its a great feeling to be in love. And its even better when you can listen to Etta and the likes of others and say they wrote that song about you and your man.

I'll be the first to admit that I have that Etta James syndrome. I don't want my man to ever walk away from me. What about you? Can you say the same thing as Sister Grenade?

Etta James

Beyonce' Version

Be sure to check out the Sister Grenades month long theme 'Marriage Chronicles'. There will be a lot of must reads and a few guest contributors. 

'The Trend'

What's up with the "new trend"? I'm talking about men wanting to become females and the chicks acting like studs. It is not exactly a new trends. It has been around for generations. It's even talked about in the Bible. I called it the "new trend" because so many people are joining in. Now before I go any further I would like to say that we, the Sister Grenades, do not hold any hard feelings against individuals and their sexual preferences. It is not our duty to judge anyone about their life, lifestyle, nor, any other ways of living. Now that we've taken care of that lets get back to the issue at hand.

I hear many of you say that you were born that way. I almost believed Sigmund Freud's theory of female babies penis envy and male babies vagina envy could be the cause of people being born gay or lesbian. But then I later disregarded that thought and understood that it was his theory on why babies are attached to their parent of the opposite sex. If you were "born that way" why not be true yourself from day one?. Don't try being who your parents want you to be. I overheard a woman venting to another about how she would prefer for her daughter to be a whore rather than a lesbian. Those are hard words to swallow, but parents must realize that they cannot control their children, nor, their decisions. Just remember that you cannot hide in the closet forever. Everyone including your parents and other family members will pick up on you and your new trend.

Ladies, why wait until you've birthed seven kids by six different men to decide that another woman is what you desire? You know some of you are out here crushing your babies daddy(ies) hearts by leaving him for another woman. Some men will not be open about how they feel, but they are very resentful. However, their are men out there whose turned on about the idea of two woman dating. Is this the reason for joining in on the new trend? Or did you join in because your were being true to yourself? Or did you feel as if all men are dogs or that all the good men are taken?

According to an article posted in the L.A. Times, "there is an emerging generation of openly gay and lesbian athletes on high school and college campuses across the country…" In many high schools and most colleges females are mainly recruited by the studs or girls basketball team. Guys, on the other hand, have already adapted into the new trend long before entering high school. Ladies just because you play in a certain sport does not mean you have to become hard or join in on the new trend.  

So many of my peers and associates have told me stories about them experimenting with someone of the same sex. I was puzzled when by two of them because all they spoke about was men and how much they loved the 'D'. Years later those two are full fledged lesbians and are proud of it. I am still cool with them till this day. I just say hey I am happy for you being true to yourself. I have no problems with their lifestyles, nor who floats their boats the best.  

If you are going to be true to yourself, then do not double dip. Leave the down-low living to the birds and be open and honest. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. You have to choose one; either man or woman, not both. You will destroy lives and families by continuing to do so.

FB DRAMA REVEALED: FB A PLACE WHERE YOU REINVENT YOURSELF

FACEBOOK

"Facebook is a social utility that connects people with friends and others who work, study and live around them."

Facebook User "FB superheroes are something else, what do they use their mouths for? Cause obviously they plant their face in the ground and talk out their ass... Stop pump faking, we all know you. Maybe I should invest in a notepad and create my life, ok here we go.... I just got off the Jet from playing cricket with Donald trump and we ate cucumber sandwiches..."

Since when has this social utility become a place for you to reinvent yourself? Many individuals that occupy the site are not who they portray themselves to be. People are supposed to use their REAL identities.

Rocking gucci purses and heels but you still reside in substidize housing. Or better yet you're still renting.

You were considered a lame in high school but seem to be famous on the book.

Your family hate each other off the internet but your best buds on FB to make sure the enemies don't catch you slipping.

You checking FB Places every chance you get to see if your man and his ex/baby momma were in the same place at the same time.

Your posting stats up about how you will whoop somebody ass knowing if they were in front of your gate you wouldn't come off the porch.

You get into some FB drama and your calling your friends so they can go comment and back you up.

Your child is four and has not started school but your constantly posting how smart they are.

You're posting stats that you know will cause controversy and then claiming it was someone else (who doesn't have a page?).

You post pictures of how much stuff your kids got for Christmas with prices as captions ... but the tree is in someone else living room.

You claim to be getting straight A's and maybe a B on your report card but you cannot properly spelled report "Repurt" and straight "strate".

Your mad with your man and put up stat after stat informing FB of every problem yall have ever had then the next day you have mall pictures up talking about how he's the only one.

You know your man is cheating and so does everyone else but you are "The Mrs" or the "One and Only" or "The Real Wifey" with no ring.

Everything is going bad around you and you are in your most vulnerable state but your "All Smiles."

You ranked 299 in your high school class of 298 but you're convinced that the three years of non credit courses in college are going to get you to graduation in the right year.

You're constantly posting photos of you in you college bathroom all dressed up to go out but your on academic probation.

You're mom was your enemy before she got on FB and now she is the best person on Earth.

You and you baby-daddy are having drama and you talking about how you regret ever having his child but at the end of your stat it reads ** (Insert Child Name here) is my everything**

****************************************************************************


The point is that there is no reason that all of these things are clearly evident on FB. There is no reason we are able see your real self and the person you pretend to be in one photo or in one status to know that you are using Facebook to Re-invent who you really are and who you are known as.

Readers if you're guilty of any of the above ... ask your self Why? Then understand that if you are a bad parent in any stance it will come out ... If you are cheating it will come out ... If you are stunting it will come out. And Guess what ... The first place it will come out is the one place you tried to hide it from the most ... FACEBOOK!

Dear Sister Grenade: SHOULD I LEAVE

Dear Sister Grenades,

I have a problem! I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3 yrs. now. Lately, I have been noticing an increase in communication amongst him and his ex. There are no kids involved and when we got together he made it clear that they are no longer. Theres no communication whatever so ever. However, the past four months seems to be a contradiction of what he told me over three years ago. I don't know maybe there has been communication and he has been hiding it or what not. I brought it to his attention and he told me I was tripping and to mind my damn business. If he loves me why would he speak to me in that way. I'm at my breaking point and so ready to leave, but me loving him is holding me back.  I need some advice.

Signed,

Should I Leave

Dear Should I Leave,

First off thank you for writing us. Secondly, there seems to be few missing pieces to this puzzle. You said you been noticing an increase in communication with your boyfriend and his ex. What happened? Did you go searching for something? Did you hear a phone conversation or see a text message? What did you say when you brought it to his attention? 

If something such as this is a factor then he should have sat and spoke with you about it. After three long years there really should not be any problems with discussing an issue that you have with him secretly talking to his ex. Let me be the one to inform you that LOVE is blind. If he loves you than no he should not have said mind your own damn business. Apparently he is guilty of something. I would say try a different approach this time around to address the issue. You can start off by saying "can we talk..."(you can finish the statement if he agrees to talk.) If it doesn't work out then you have to do whats best for you. You can always stick around and continue to feel the way you do or you can move on with your life and find someone who will not lie and hide things from you. There is plenty of fish in the sea. Please write us back with an update.

SOUND OFF... Readers what advice can you offer this young ladies?

Do You Know His Social Security Number???

I've come across a great deal of females who believe it's okay to drop their panties without protection. Failing to realize the realities of life; babies and sexually transmitted infections. When it comes to the baby situation many of the females do not know anything more than the guys nickname. Once the baby is born the chick has an opportunity to apply government assistance to keep both healthy, but they (DHS) ask for the fathers information. And what do they know? Nothing, just his nickname or sometimes the first, but not his last name.

Girls will make sure they know his whole family and where everyone lives ... even the same information about the girl he's messing around with. But the title is about his SSN .... you will be lucky to find a girl who know the guy real name!

Let me be honest, never did I know the importance of a SSN until I learned my own and started applying for jobs and college. Soon as I noticed the importance I learned that it's the most public, but secret thing every person has. If a man released this information to you then you knew he trusted you! You knew that you were in a real relationship.

With that being said, if you know his SSN but it's because you took a sneak peak of the card while going threw his wallet and saved the number in your phone or you wrote it on a piece of paper when he left a job application sitting on the computer stand WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

I knew my husbands SSN by the beginning of our third year ... it wasn't because he didn't want to tell me it was because I had never asked. When I'd asked he provided the information as if it was his phone number and I learned the importance of having this information from filling out personal information for him or providing the number to doctors and seeing the look on people faces because we were young and many had expressed that it was rare that the girl didn't have to call the guy for the number to provide the information later.

All in all it is utterly important to obtain his social security number whether you are married or the mother of his child(ren). It will benefit you more than you know. Now we are not saying ask for it and then open up credit cards or put a car or two in his name. That's not utilizing it wisely. We're telling you to be smart about it and do the right thing.

SOUND OFF... So do you know your man social security number? How did you go about obtaining?

Shut-Up Bitch!

GOSSIP [gos-uh p] (noun):

Idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.

It's no secret we all do it, may have done it, or use to spread gossip. Gossiping is like an itch that must be scratched. In some cases the itch is scratched so much that it creates a sore.

Gossip is sometimes the basis of a friendship. A relationship that's built off gossip is one that needs gossip to survive. Not to mention that relationship ends the way it was started.

For my department at work I am the last to get in ... so when I come in to work on a day that was eventful before I made it in I am instantly bombarded with seven to ten different stories about the same event. They come in all forms; e-mails, instant messaging, coming to my desk, or even walking up to me while I'm grabbing water from the machine. I always wondered why I was the one to get all the different stories so I asked. I was told:

"The rumor mill stops with you. We can tell you what happened and give you our thoughts and we will never hear of it again."

I was shocked but I quickly got over it because my family describes me as the person that don't think much information given to me is worth repeating or could be considered gossip. Then again, anytime people are defaming one another while attempting to save or cover their own ass I ignore it so much to where I can barely remember until someone tries to recap the story.

I recently made the decision that when someone I know is known for gossiping comes to me with information about someone else. I will easily tell them "Damn, Shut Up Bitch"! Now some of you may want to take the time to brace yourself for the next time you attempt to tell someone elses business to me. No matter what our stand on relationship is you WILL be told the title of this post.

There is a difference between telling someone you don't want to hear something which is what I may normally say but they seem to counter my want with what they would like to call my "need" to hear them bitch and complain and put there two cents in on someone elses situation. So I find the Shut Up Bitch more appropriate. It instantly shuts them up, makes them turn away, and gives them an inkling that I don't care to hear anything else they believe is a "need" for me to hear.

To our readers, go ahead and adapt the S.U.B method and watch as the conversations around you change. Now this is for the most holy and most sinful rephrase it however you would like just make sure you get the message across.

And to those of you who will take this post and negatively run with it I will like to extend a special SHUT UP BITCH to you.

"If the duck would have kept its mouth closed, then it would not have ended up on the hunter's dinner table."

Have a Baby By Me, Baby and Get on Welfare

We all know someone that's a groupie. They will never admit it, but its definitely the truth. You know the chick that makes it her business to hit up All-Star Weekend every year in all hopes of smashing, oops ... I mean meeting that one Ball Player. She can barely afford to pay her rent, but she somehow can scrape up enough money every year for this one trip. Secretly toting around a turkey baser in her purse as a come up. To her amazement she gets lucky ...

She finally gets popped off, but dude denies the baby. Later paternity test proves that he is indeed the father and bang she feels that she has came up. Later realizing the agony of only receiving $1000 a month doesn't cover the cost of diapers, food, the weekly trips to the nail shop, and hitting up Bloomingdale's so her child can outshine the other kids. 

Or do you know that chick from high school who dated the star ball player with high hopes of him making it to the league. She figured it will be her come up to make it out the projects. Although, he was openly cheating on her with the chick from her circle she still managed to get pregnant by him. Well things did not go as planned because he isn't as good as Lebron and could barely make it out of Junior College.

However, most of the ladies are not as fortunate as others and have to settle for the Hood Rich, dope boy. You know the one with the fancy car, still living in his grandmother basement, who already have four baby mommas (but you want to add to the list), yeah him...

On any given day you can walk into each one of their cribs and find stacks of letter from the department of human services.

"I'm tired of gold digging B**ches getting pregnant on purpose"-Kanye West 

Aren't we all, but remember Kanye, you also said "I aint saying she a gold digga, but she aint messing with a broke ni**a."

Rapper 50 Cent encouraged the female population to have a baby by him and become a millionaire. The media portrayed many other rich moguls repeating the lyrics therefore enlightening a situation that sometimes can bankrupt a rich man.

But as I pay attention to these shows on television glamorizing the lives of ex's/divorcee's and baby mommas I see that they are often riding with someone else. Their cars have rental plates, some are never paying for their meals and all of them are out looking for another rich man to attempt to suck dry.

When in actuality they have bleed dry their men, played the independent role, or they were getting the funds for having a child by a man with money and initially they were living the good life and all to often the man was able to prove to courts that all the money they were shelling out to these women was not being spent on their child(ren) and now they are allowed to give the bare minimum and the rest either goes into a college fund or it doesn't go to anything at all ... he gets to keep it.

Now you're getting a measly $1,000 a month and that's not enough to cover rent, car payments on that new Infinity truck, and other bills so you are subject to resulting back to what you were used to before your struck gold. Welfare.

All we can say is that we hope that you are able to cope and get back to normal. Learn from your mistakes. And move on hopefully supporting yourself now and attempting to find a man that you want to be with for more than a get rich quick scheme.

WELFARE

Food stamps now Link Card, SNAP benefits, SSI Checks, Medical Cards, Section 8 ... and plenty more ... means WELFARE.

Lets take a look at each one.

Link Cards:
Qualifying individuals receive $200 in Link for every member of their household who is either underage or incapable of working for whatever circumstance. This is often abused by many because they receive all these funds in link and it's often spent on junk food or sold for cash ($60 cash for every $100 in Link) to fund other wants (sometimes needs) of the cardholder.


SNAP Benefits:
Qualifying individuals must have a job only part time or seasonal workers are accepted. They can receive half the funds of a qualifying Link person only for the length of time they are either out of work or they receive less than half for part time workers. It is very hard for a person to receive SNAP benefits and these are often the people who need the full amount.


SSI Checks:

Qualifying individuals are incapable of working to receive funds for either health or mental reasons. Often abused by parents who forced their children to plead retarded/slow in order to get a check of their own. These funds are sometimes denied for people who need it the most because there may not be funds there to assist them due to all the false claims that are being met.



Medical Cards:

These are probably the most tamed funds that are given out. Every child gets one and every adult capable of proving constant medical need receives one.





Section 8:

Qualifying individuals receives funds that can fit the bill for the amount of rooms needed for the people who will live under the same roof. I would consider Section 8 to be like a family air loom that's passed down generation to generation. Mothers make sure that their children are put onto the list as soon as they can and the children are often waiting for that approval letter in the mail for more than 10 years sometimes.





The money that fund the above programs are those taken from tax payers who work for a living, some who don't even get any of the above assistance. Some of the people who fund these programs don't even qualify for the above programs and are turned down and looked at sideways by case workers in charge of whether or not that can receive assistance or not.

Now I am in no form against anyone who receives the program benefits above UNLESS you are abusing them. I am amongst the few people who were denied benefits when I really needed them. Then I walked into stores where people had shopping carts filled with Flamin' Hots, cakes, and Juice. I hear in the state of California SNAP and Link recipients are capable of going to the local Burger King or Dominoes to purchase pizza with their benefits card. I would go into the doctors office and watch girls who were well along in their pregnancy go into a room for their first doctors visit and they have had a medical card forever. I would watch as people spent their SSI checks on restaurant food and new shoes before getting their lights and gas cut back on. How about searching for an apartment and all the nice looking ones are taken or boarded up and the Landlords would explain how they allowed Section 8 residents to reside in their apartments and they tore them up or the boilers burst because they did not pay the heating bill.

Welfare has made it so that people can live without having to lift a finger until the 1st, 15th, 23rd, or the 30th. They tend to depend on these benefits because this is how they have been living their whole lives. It's almost said when parents live this way and then cripples their child(ren) and have them hoping and praying they get the same type of benefits as their parents.

Though welfare has a good cause it has ruined the lives of people who could have actual done something with themselves and could be out making their own money to fuel their needs and wants instead of sitting at home and re-certifying every six months for money they did not earn and could give a rats ass about the people who are working to fund their programs they cannot live without.

Black & White Composition Books

"Bitterness only eats away from it's container from the inside out"  -Pastor L. Whitfield

When that statement was said I jerked back and thoughts flooded in. It was true. When you are being bitter about something it's hurts you more first and then you try to put the feelings out on others. I couldn't understand how this statement was the pure explanation of people in my life and it had also explained a lot and opened my eyes to reasons why people treated me the way they did and said the things they said. In the end they were hurting ten times more than I was after they'd attacked.

I have been the plate that a lot of people have spilled their hurt and anger on to make themselves feel better which is why I don't think I cry. Bitter people have made me stronger. I have never seen myself as bitter. I have never let anything tear me up so bad that I took that anger out on others.  I found myself always in someone else line of fire because I didn't have the episodes of bitterness they did.

Now, many become bitter because they are harboring feelings of something that they should have either addressed or gotten over, however, they decided not to speak on it and to hold back their reactions. Now I am one that I always thought it was was something people wanted just to fuck with me to get me to break but I would not entertain those situations by giving reaction. I journaled. I journaled like there was no tomorrow. I felt someone pissed me off, picked on me, made me feel worthless, blamed me, cheated me, taunted me ... I JOURNALED. I had exactly 47 black and white composition books over the course of seven years that I held my frustrations and annoyances in.



Never was a happy moment written in any of these journals. I made it to where everything I did not want to carry with me I put into those black and white composition books and I left them there. I didn't write in the journals for anyones entertainment, I never considered turning them into books, I did not hide them either, I felt if someone picked them up and got upset at what was inside that was some anger they would have to deal with on their own; because I dropped my opinion about the situation in the journal and I left it there and  I carried every happy moment with me and thats what I dwelled in.

Before I threw the journals away I wanted to read them and when I'd sat down with my big bag of M&M's I opened the first page and read the first sentence. I closed the book and realized that these would go into the garbage never to be read because that first page was something I had completely forgot about and the first sentence brought all the memories back and I didn't want to journal about reading my journals! They were good things to me and reading them I thought would just turn them into my enemies.

I then realized that if my journals could talk they would only see me as a bitter human being because I only shared with them what I dislike, who I disliked, and why. But I felt that my bitterness was better put onto a journal than onto other people.

Readers. You may not see yourself as bitter but when you get upset about something how do you let that emotion out? Do you journal? Go on the hunt for a victim? Whats your take on bitterness?

SOUND OFF!

YES, I'm Selfish, but...

Hello All! My name is Big Sister Grenade and I am SELFISH. Yes, I am admitting it. Now before you go judging me, I must inform you that I'm a very giving person (lol). For example, family, friends, Katrina and Japan relief victims, etc. I help out when I can financially. On the other hand, I'm selfish when it comes to the man I'm dating or should I say my man.

I do not believe in sharing a man that I'm in a relationship with. You can have a crush on him and dream the biggest dreams in reference to him, but it's best to keep it all to yourself. If a chick decides to blow a kiss his way he bet not catch it. If a chick is walking towards our direction staring him down he has no reason to make eye contact. As stated in a previous topic some females are ignorant and will do anything to pull the pin out of this grenade. There's plenty of fish in the sea just don't mess with mine. Go out and find your own man.

I'm not one to fight over any man unless their my blood relatives. Yes, you heard me right. Any man that believe it's my duty to fight or even waste my breathe disputing about him with another woman (his mother, other family members, baby mommas, etc.) can keep it moving. I don't share and I definitely do not have time to waste my breath or energy on nonsense. I'm quick to leave a guy right where he is standing if I have to. It's not a secret neither. I'll pack my things in his face all while Jagged Edge is playing (insider ... lol) and will be sure to leave the keys at the front door.

No, I am not the jealous type and never allowed that term to become a part of my character neither. However, I do believe in a thing called respect. I respect him and I demand respect back. I do not think that's too much to ask for. This selfishness derived from past and present day experiences. I have been in sitautaions where a guy felt as if he needed to please is childs mother in order to be happy in our former relationship. Then, I later found myself in a situation where this one guy believed he was the ladies man, he needed everyone else outside of us to stroke his ego. So as you can see I'm selfish and feel as if I have a right be, but it can easily be detoured.

Don't judge me I'm still in my growing process (lol).

*************************

I wasn't going to even get in on this one but I must say something! lol

Hello, I am Lil Sis Grenade and I am NOT Selfish. Yeah, yeah I know ... but you can stop your thinking. I DONT SHARE MY HUSBAND PHYSICALLY. However even my own husband think I need to be a bit more selfish over him.

I grew up where I didn't mind going to the club or parties and watching my husband enjoy himself while dancing with other women. It's been times we were walking around and another woman has brushed up against him or grabbed his ass and he would look at me and ask me did I see and I wouldn't but I didn't mind. I don't mind if he looks at another woman because thats just general nature of a human. You see something that interest you, you look.

This is my take. I do not get upset or offended with my husband on things that I would not want him to get upset with me about. Now, no, I don't brush up against other men nor do I grab their butt but I may occasionally glance in the the direction of the man if something about him caught my eye. Now do I want my husband to flip the fuck out and we argue? No. If I go to a club and I am dancing with another guy do I want my husband to hold that over my head? No. So why would I do that to him?

I am alright with another woman having a little crush on him because I find it amusing that women actually want what I have. I don't get upset but I do inform the woman that it will not go any further than a crush and to understand that it would never be more than that. That normally crushes their crush and then we're back to normal.

I have never been the type to get upset about things like that which is why I think my relationship lasted so long. I do not find the things some people get pissed about disrespectful because that's just not me.

Now for our Readers whats your take? Are you selfish like Big Sis Grenade or are you more laid back like Lil Sis?

SOUND OFF!

I'm Grown Now

This post is for the people older than we are to understand that WE ARE GROWN NOW.

Grown is often considered that you are no longer under the supervision of anyone. You are free to make decisions on your own and don't have to answer to anyone but the Big Man upstairs. The only rules followed are ones you made yourself. Everyone who used to make the rules for you can only give you advice. Sounds fun.

Everyone claims to be grown before they really are and I am definitely guilty of that. Going away to college doesn't make you grown if you come back home after graduation or when you decided college wasn't the right move for you. Having a baby and thinking that you only have to care for yourself but you need the help of those around you.

Paying a bill or two and claiming that everytime you are confronted as not being grown is another sign that you are not.

I had been out on my own for a while then when I finally came across my Grown reality when I would get paid and every penny I made went to a bill. There was no shopping, going out the eat, getting my nails done and my very last dime hit the just right amount for a pack of pampers. My account literally was down to 17 cent and I had two weeks until the next time I was to be paid. Gas would have to come from giving people rides to where they needed to go and food would come from in-laws who didn't mind giving $100 from their link to help out.

I had a big problem with people knowing I was struggling. Even though I paid my bills, the heat and lights were still being threatened to be turned off. Cell phones were paid before anything else because I didn't want anyone to know that I was struggling as bad as I was. I never knew it was possible to be in the position I was in because my parents had never let me see any struggle if there was any.

It was in that moment that I realized that I was grown and the fact I did everything because I knew that it was right. I knew these things were needed for my familys' survival. That's when I learned the word NO. I saw that there was no one there just offering a handout. If I didn't ask for help the need went unnoticed.

That's where I found myself saying I am able to ask for help and say Thank You afterward. I am able to make my own decision on if I want to stop doing something or if I want to start something new. I no longer need to explain myself to anyone and nothing is mandatory unless I say it is. I can honestly say it feels damn good. For years I was unsure of how to handle situations unless I got advice from grown people and now I handle situations my own way .

My point is being grown isn't all fun and games its probably one of the scariest moments in life when you figure it out but it changes your life.

Big Sis when did you know you were grown?

Well Lil' Sis, I grew up very quickly while in college. I must admit I was a dare devil and made a lot of decisions without thinking them through. I went from living the party life, working a minimum wage job, and allowing our parents to flip the bill on my car note to working two nice jobs, also, having work study, no longer partying, pay rents, car note and a billion other bills. Man it was hecked, but I persevered. The decline in the economy practically destroyed my life. It forced me to make the decision to return home.

Yes, I am grown mentally and age wise, but I still have a lot growing up to do within myself. Ask me this question when I'm 30 years of age and maybe I will be able to provide you a proper answer. By then I will be on my feet living my life as I dreamt it would be with a few added bonuses...lol.

SOUND OFF...Ladies and gentlemen when did you discover that you were grown? Or are you like Big Sister Grenade where she's still growing up within herself? We would love to hear from you, our fabulous readers.

Lunch Time Honesty Minute: Bubbleland

Yes this post is clearly about the LAUNDROMAT! or as we loosely say it "Laundry-mat". I didn't learn to actually use a washing machine in the laundromat until I was 17 years old. My husband taught me how while we were washing my clothes for I was soon to be going away to college. Up until then Mother Grenade would go wash while we only had to fold. After a while we were blessed with a washer and dryer in our home where I was accustomed to washing in a top filled washer and a dryer that would dry everything the first time around.


So at this very moment I'm sitting in the laundry-mat with five jumbo washers and three regular size washers. I'm in a cute capri pajama set that could be taken as a really cute outfit any day. I have on some comfy UGG's and my hair is cute and accessorized with my pretty flower headband. My face is washed and so is my body I smell of Dove soap and bodywash. My attention is turned completely to my laptop because I'm using this as free time to blog. Well WHY NOT BLOG ABOUT THE SHIT SEEN IN LAUNDRY-MATS!



I go to Bubbleland. Its not a place a lot of people frequent because the drying is known as NOT free. Yeah you could say I'm crazy for coming here and paying 30 cents per 12 minutes of drying, but I had to come here because I am not running into a place filled with kids in the last of their clean clothes that don't match waiting for their mommas to pull something out the dryer to match either the top or the bottom of what they running around in.

I go where I go because it's not filled with a lot of grown women with their dirty thongs hanging out of their too little laundromat jogging or pajama pants. Neither is it filled with a bunch of mommas who came in after a night of clubbing and decided to wake their kids up out their sleep to get in the car looking a mess while she is still shaub (sharp) from the night before.

I go where I go because it's super peaceful, I have all the room I need to wash and fold clothes and with washers that are huge and cheap and tables that are long sturdy and have section blockers.

That was until I woke up and decided hey lets separate the clothes and go to Bubbleland! My husband who has always been against going there said okay, but then proceeded to convince me to go to a Free Dry laundromat instead. I gave in and we actual went on a hunt for one. Yeah to no avail though. Everyone we went to was packed with the above descriptions and there was no room for us and our six bags (Yeah I said SIX!)

So we ended up going to Bubbleland! How about we walk in and there are these big ass signs saying FREE DRY! I think I walked into hell when I saw that! But it was still nice and peaceful ... until my husband left to get some food and when he pulled off a man, his wife, and two daughters pull up. It was clear they had never been here before because they had a bag full of quarters not knowing that all money go on cards here and the card machines do not take change!

They walked in a FULL DESCRIPTION of the people I was trying to avoid. They argued with the attendant when she told them they don't take coins ... they then proceeded to get their cards filled and the parents cursed the kids out because they had attitudes and then without everything being placed into the machines they left their things there and came back an hour later. Once they finally came back they finished their washing, put all the clothes in their bags unfolded and left ...

Then in came the parents of what must have been four teenage girls and they were obviously pissed. Eight big black garbage bags of dirty clothes and when they opened the bags it was obvious what they were pissed about ... none of the clothes were separated and one bag was full of wet clothes. They lost it! I mean I saw this as entertainment but then I also saw it as just plan sad.

Aside from the people breaking their necks to keep their kids near them and people arguing over dryers I was truly amused that on a Tuesday afternoon this is the shit seen in laundromats!

What do you see?

SOUND OFF!

Arguments

I used to always hear the way you grew up hearing arguments will be the way you would argue. Then it was shown to me on the tv show Lets Stay Together where the engaged couple mimicked the argument style of their parents. One would just walk away from an argument and stay silent and let it fester ... the other was used to attempting to "talk" something out and then always found themselves screaming!

You have some people who says that they argue because they love someone, then you find that arguing is the only way to solve a problem.

We argue with our siblings, other family, friends, neighbors, significant others, co-workers, teachers, even other drivers. You can be over happy and then find yourself pissed the next minute. When things aren't always in your favor and you take the frustration out on someone else.

Most arguments start over the smallest things that blow up during confrontations that bring out thoughts that would not typically be revealed.

I argue with my husband, who doesn't. We argue if he farts in the car with all the windows up, who's going to change the shitty pamper, who will make that 5am bottle for the baby, why didn't one of us spray the bathroom when we came out, did you really leave the top off the toothpaste, why did you throw my face towel in the laundry bag, who's gonna pay the bills over the phone, why do I have to carry more bags from the car, who's gonna get the baby cup out the car, why would you use the last q-tip, drink the last cup of kool-aid, did you really not wash the dishes, who left the mayonnaise on the table!??!

Seems like petty reasons right? I felt the same way until Daddy Grenade heard one of our arguments and said: "I'm so glad y'all arguments aren't really over nothing big". That got me to thinking our arguments be less than five minutes long and typically end with us laughing or the other coming into the room giving a hug and kiss and tickling the other. I don't have the big money fights or the what time you get in spats, who's texting you talks, who was the girl/guy you had in the car arguments. I began to be happy about my small petty arguments.

SOUND OFF...

How big or small are your arguments? Do they fester for days or are they mended before you guys go to bed?