Shut-Up Bitch!

GOSSIP [gos-uh p] (noun):

Idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.

It's no secret we all do it, may have done it, or use to spread gossip. Gossiping is like an itch that must be scratched. In some cases the itch is scratched so much that it creates a sore.

Gossip is sometimes the basis of a friendship. A relationship that's built off gossip is one that needs gossip to survive. Not to mention that relationship ends the way it was started.

For my department at work I am the last to get in ... so when I come in to work on a day that was eventful before I made it in I am instantly bombarded with seven to ten different stories about the same event. They come in all forms; e-mails, instant messaging, coming to my desk, or even walking up to me while I'm grabbing water from the machine. I always wondered why I was the one to get all the different stories so I asked. I was told:

"The rumor mill stops with you. We can tell you what happened and give you our thoughts and we will never hear of it again."

I was shocked but I quickly got over it because my family describes me as the person that don't think much information given to me is worth repeating or could be considered gossip. Then again, anytime people are defaming one another while attempting to save or cover their own ass I ignore it so much to where I can barely remember until someone tries to recap the story.

I recently made the decision that when someone I know is known for gossiping comes to me with information about someone else. I will easily tell them "Damn, Shut Up Bitch"! Now some of you may want to take the time to brace yourself for the next time you attempt to tell someone elses business to me. No matter what our stand on relationship is you WILL be told the title of this post.

There is a difference between telling someone you don't want to hear something which is what I may normally say but they seem to counter my want with what they would like to call my "need" to hear them bitch and complain and put there two cents in on someone elses situation. So I find the Shut Up Bitch more appropriate. It instantly shuts them up, makes them turn away, and gives them an inkling that I don't care to hear anything else they believe is a "need" for me to hear.

To our readers, go ahead and adapt the S.U.B method and watch as the conversations around you change. Now this is for the most holy and most sinful rephrase it however you would like just make sure you get the message across.

And to those of you who will take this post and negatively run with it I will like to extend a special SHUT UP BITCH to you.

"If the duck would have kept its mouth closed, then it would not have ended up on the hunter's dinner table."