Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I'm Grown Now

This post is for the people older than we are to understand that WE ARE GROWN NOW.

Grown is often considered that you are no longer under the supervision of anyone. You are free to make decisions on your own and don't have to answer to anyone but the Big Man upstairs. The only rules followed are ones you made yourself. Everyone who used to make the rules for you can only give you advice. Sounds fun.

Everyone claims to be grown before they really are and I am definitely guilty of that. Going away to college doesn't make you grown if you come back home after graduation or when you decided college wasn't the right move for you. Having a baby and thinking that you only have to care for yourself but you need the help of those around you.

Paying a bill or two and claiming that everytime you are confronted as not being grown is another sign that you are not.

I had been out on my own for a while then when I finally came across my Grown reality when I would get paid and every penny I made went to a bill. There was no shopping, going out the eat, getting my nails done and my very last dime hit the just right amount for a pack of pampers. My account literally was down to 17 cent and I had two weeks until the next time I was to be paid. Gas would have to come from giving people rides to where they needed to go and food would come from in-laws who didn't mind giving $100 from their link to help out.

I had a big problem with people knowing I was struggling. Even though I paid my bills, the heat and lights were still being threatened to be turned off. Cell phones were paid before anything else because I didn't want anyone to know that I was struggling as bad as I was. I never knew it was possible to be in the position I was in because my parents had never let me see any struggle if there was any.

It was in that moment that I realized that I was grown and the fact I did everything because I knew that it was right. I knew these things were needed for my familys' survival. That's when I learned the word NO. I saw that there was no one there just offering a handout. If I didn't ask for help the need went unnoticed.

That's where I found myself saying I am able to ask for help and say Thank You afterward. I am able to make my own decision on if I want to stop doing something or if I want to start something new. I no longer need to explain myself to anyone and nothing is mandatory unless I say it is. I can honestly say it feels damn good. For years I was unsure of how to handle situations unless I got advice from grown people and now I handle situations my own way .

My point is being grown isn't all fun and games its probably one of the scariest moments in life when you figure it out but it changes your life.

Big Sis when did you know you were grown?

Well Lil' Sis, I grew up very quickly while in college. I must admit I was a dare devil and made a lot of decisions without thinking them through. I went from living the party life, working a minimum wage job, and allowing our parents to flip the bill on my car note to working two nice jobs, also, having work study, no longer partying, pay rents, car note and a billion other bills. Man it was hecked, but I persevered. The decline in the economy practically destroyed my life. It forced me to make the decision to return home.

Yes, I am grown mentally and age wise, but I still have a lot growing up to do within myself. Ask me this question when I'm 30 years of age and maybe I will be able to provide you a proper answer. By then I will be on my feet living my life as I dreamt it would be with a few added bonuses...lol.

SOUND OFF...Ladies and gentlemen when did you discover that you were grown? Or are you like Big Sister Grenade where she's still growing up within herself? We would love to hear from you, our fabulous readers.

2 comments:

Thickcurlgurl70 said...

The moment I THOUGHT I was grown; is when I left my husband, bought my 1st car, had my own apartment (by myself)working and was seriously doing things on my own and got my 1st tatoo; but that's the exterior...Mind you, all of these things were done by the age of 24. But the moment I KNEW I was grown is when I was age 32 and realized that although I was "doing it" I N D E P E N D E N T style I didnt know S H I T.....Being Grown really isnt any of those things I mentioned before....

crunknpeachy said...

in my case i guess you can say im not grown yet because im still at home(but speaking to everyone that i know that are GROWN they say to stay at home and save money)...do understand I make my own decisions and I do let my folks known what im doing prior to doing it...they can voice there opinion all day long im still going to do what i wanna do....lol but i still show respect to them...SN I guess I realize I was grown when being INDEPENDENT life style came with a budget...yup it is good but only if you know to manage it and work it