Happy Memorials Day All! The other day I participated in a four hour phone conversation with a good friend of mine from college. We reflected, as usual, on the great times we had during our undergraduate years. Realizing how much fun we had prior to settling down and moving forward with our lives. She explained to me how she thought marriage was going to be much more than what she is experiencing now. I agreed with her and we continued to encourage one another because we are both learning that marriage is not easy at all. One thing that we both have in common is that our mates lack spending quality time with us.
Prior to the newly found married life everything seemed to be going great. We did a lot outside of the home. Always on the go enjoying yourselves every chance we got. Well all of that ended once we said 'I do'. It seems like I had to pencil in a request just for a hour of his time. I did this for months and even found myself complaining and later nagging about it. The PS3 is first in life, spending hours in the studio is second and me, I'm third on the list. (If we were in Chicago I will probably be fourth. However, I will never allow myself to be in that predicament.)
While everything else was taking up his time, I had to learn how to enjoy being by myself. Which was pretty tough. Unlike him I grew up with siblings and always had extended family and friends to occupy my time with. I have never felt as lonely as I have being married compared to when I was single. The most enjoyment I get out of life is watching lifetime and spending hours on the phone chatting with my family.
For a while I thought maybe, just maybe, its me over reacting or expecting too much. Silly me to have second guess my worth. I prayed and promised myself to continue to always and forever put myself first no matter what (or who). That is what I am currently doing. I have found employment and applying for graduate school. No need for me to be sitting around feeling lonely. Its his lost, not mine.
SOUND OFF ... Have any of you experience this in your marriage? If so, how did you handle it?
4 comments:
Im not married...but I can say this its good to have me time
I knw that feeling because when I first moved in with my boyfriend we were cool pent every nighttime together. but then came the block and it seemed as if his boys was more important then came black opts and my love life took a down turn but like you I got a job then I was too tired. We live and we learn.
You should move back home!
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