Double Standards

"No boyfriends or dating until you are 16!"

I wonder how many girls have heard such a saying. I have! My daddy told me this and he meant it! Did I obey? No. Should I have? Honestly? No. I went through  a few frogs to get my Prince and I'm afraid had I started at 16 I would still be putting my lipgloss on for some frogs!

But back to the words above ... I was not supposed to have a boyfriend until I was 16 nor was I supposed to date. I couldn't have a guy that was a friend come and sit on my couch until I was 16! I never understood the age 16 reference but I guess that's when the rule makers thought a girl was old enough to handle dating and it was passed down through the times and it skipped most households beside my own. However, I never dated seriously, long term until I turned 15 and shockingly my Dad approved. He only approved because he thought his threat that in order for me to become someones girlfriend the guy had to sit down and have a talk with him.

I remember oh so vividly of the night that happened! After months of me and the guy sitting on the porch together for hours my dad had friends over and said for me and the guy to go and sit in the kitchen. The guy was curious as to why it was his first time in my house ... I explained to him the rules my dad once laid out for him and when I turned my back he was gone out on the porch to my dad and his friends and had asked if he could speak with him about becoming my boyfriend. Me and Mother Grenade had our ears stuck to the door but couldn't hear much. We just knew that when he came back in he asked me if I would be his girl and I proudly accepted!

That wasn't the end though ...I guess I wasn't trustworthy because it went from sitting on the porch to only sitting in the kitchen, to sitting on separate couches in the front room to him sitting in a chair while I sat on my bed with the door wide open. How about having to show receipts with dates and timestamps from restaurants when we went out on dates ... Let me not forget being able to go to his house but having to take my little brother with me.

Speaking of Little Brothers ... here is where the double standard came in! He was 12 being encourage to have a girlfriend ... 13 when he got one and she was allowed to lay on the couch with him, sit in his room or rather lay in his room with the bedroom door closed. He was allowed to go out on dates and go to her house without another sibling around to inform our parents later of the happenings of the time spent away from home.

Did this initially bother me? No. Until I noticed that he was free to do as he pleased (innocently as far as I know) while I was still making sure the waiter gave us a receipt that had all the information I needed.

My sister and I often joked about the double standards in our household and often I wondered what affect those standards would have on my relationship. Maybe I didn't like my restrictions then and I still wouldn't choose certain ones for my own daughter but I do think that those restrictions strengthened my relationship with my now Husband because not  many men would put up with a girl who came with so many rules, whose couch he didn't sit on until after their 1 year anniversary. A girl who every family member he met grilled and threatened him, who babysat for hours and asked for his assistance every step of the way.

I thank my parents for the restrictions because they ultimately became challenges I wouldn't have thought to put a guy through. I thank my husband for sticking it out and ultimately popping the big question! But I also thank my brother for just being there and being the reason for me hating double standards ... because every rule that was made I broke my neck not to break, and every challenge they put out I made sure I succeeded! Example: They asked for receipts with dates and timestamps, I also showed the timestamps on my bus cards! lol

....Big Sis, I Pulled the Grenade Pin ... Now You Can SOUND OFF...

Well, Lil Sis, I'm glad the rule maker's rules did not skip our home. I was the "tester child", so you did not have to bare witness to half of the rules as I had to. However, I am thankful because I watched as so many of my peers became pregnant, contracted a sexually transmitted infection, or did some things I just did not want to associate myself with.

I remember my first year of high school one evening I bought home a good guy friend of mine and before we could sit down and begin on our homework my dad politely asked for him to leave and never come back...then told him I would walk him to the bus stop just to make sure he made it out of the neighborhood safely. Yep!, my daddy put him out. I didn't understand if he got put out for being older then myself or because I invited him over before asking my parents permission...lol.

I think it took about two years or so before I could have any guys to stop the house after that situation. I was able to date more, but my parents had to meet the guy in order for me to go out on a date with me. If any guy had the audacity to blow the horn oh I wasn't going anywhere with him. He had to come and ring the door bell. This was my parents way of teaching me how a guy should respect me.

Yes, I experienced having my baby brother being a babysitter. However, I never had to take him out on a date with me, but if I had a guy over visiting while my parents were not home, yeah baby bro had to sit in the room with us. And when my parents returned home they knew everything from a to z because he told it all. Now, my brother gets away with so much because he is a guy. Until this day I complain to my parents about how wrong they are for letting him get away with murder. Their response as always 'he's a guy and its different'.

Those rules or should I say double standards that were instill in our household did a great deal of justice for the both of us. Those rules helped me choose not only the right man, but, also, determined my way of living.

SOUND OFF...What Do You Think? Do you believe the double standard rules are fair?