Monster-In-Law

We've all seen the movie, Monster-In-Law, starring Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez. Fonda plays the role of Viola Field, television host, who disagrees with her sons choice of bride, Charlie (Lopez). She does everything in her power to prevent her son from marrying Charlie. That movie seems all too close to a lot of our relationships. Whether it is the mother or the groom (more common) or the mother of the bride. Check out the movie trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlOoCwZQvMg

Prior to most of our nuptials the mother-in-law may have said some inappropriate things, put on a front before your significant other, invited the ex (the daughter in-law at heart) to the family gathering knowing you would be there, use social media outlets in attempt to hurt you or maybe even degrade your character. What did you do? How did you respond/ react? I'll tell you what I did, I took upon myself to tell her what was on my mind in the most respectful way. I had to come to peace with myself by letting her go. I needed to avoid any further confrontations with her and prevent any issues from stirring up in my relationship with my husband. Some women may think I went about that the wrong way, but who cares. I had to do what was best for me and mines.Nothing positive was ever going to develop in our relationship on my part, on the other hand, she may blossom from her phony ways. Now don't get me wrong I do participate in small talk and I'm very cordial just out of respect for my elders.


After a few personal issues of my own, I took it upon myself to research positive ways of dealing with my monster of a mother-in-law...lol. I was unsuccessful, however, I came across an article that some believe to be challenging. I set aside my bias' and read the short article and chuckled once finished. Read it for yourself How to get along with your evil Mother in Law | eHow.com. I personally would not abide by any of these, but there may someone who could benefit from this. One thing I did find funny was the links on the page, one was entitled, Daughter-In-Law Problems?...WHAT???

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I think Monster-In-Law is a strong name to give a woman who gave birth to the man you choose to marry. Now some may deserve it but out of general respect I would never call my MIL such a name. However, my situation in regards to my feelings and how I treat my MIL is different than most. She has not blatantly expressed her dislike of me constantly to anyone, she's has not taken it to social networks, she has not tried to set me up in situations she knew would make me uncomfortable ... Why? Because I didn't allow it. I knew that the feelings of my MIL were shady towards me because when enraged with my husband years before we were married I overheard an argument and which she spoke bad of me and I held on to that.

I always felt that things said to my husband was said to hurt him, but this time I think it hurt me more. Also, I know that during arguments is when real feelings are expressed. Years went by and I took heed to my feelings and expressed them to my husband before we married so that he understood why I would treated his mom the way I did.

Now let me say ... that argument I overheard was within the second year of me and my husbands soon to be seven year relationship. I never had a face to face problem with his mother, she was always polite to me and treated me as if I was another one of her children. I love her actually because if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be married to the man that I consider to be a great father and companion.

However going to the internet for advice on relationship problems has never been my style ... I simply look at the relationships around me and one distinct one showed me how I could best deal with my MIL. Because I was over trying to have a relationship with her because somethings she'd said I could never forgive I decided to keep my distance. I only see her when there is a gathering or we are picking up my children from spending a few hours ... I make sure that I still respect her ... I speak and keep any conversation very short and sweet.

The best way to deal with your MIL (whatever you may choose to use the "M" for) is to speak with your husband about what the problem is and see what he thinks about how the situation should be handled. Me. I do as my husband suggested ... Just don't disrespect her ... and that I don't. No matter what I have to do to make sure that doesn't happen, I do. In the end the relationship that matters is between you and him.