FB DRAMA REVEALED: FB The Relationship Destroyer?

 

FACEBOOK

"Facebook is a social utility that connects people with friends and others who work, study and live around them."

Yeah it sounds good. Right? Since FB spread its wings to larger populations in the past six years it has been known as the relationship destroyer. Men and woman both utilize the site to search for old school buddies, past-time flings, family and friends. The relationship status is available for the everyone to see. Whether an individual post the truth or lie it seems to cause a great deal of conflict on this social media site. With the constant changes in the privacy settings FB will continue to receive flack and couples will see increase in lack of privacy.

All too often I read articles about couples ending their relationships over password changes, secret messages from former girlfriends/boyfriends, or because someone disregarded the relationship status and wrote openly on the persons wall expressing whatever.

If you are married or in some form of committed relationship why is there an issue with passwords. If there are no secrets then you and your significant other should have access to each others passwords. (Some of you out there may feel differently about this. Comment or email us.)

Why send private messages that you know can cause a problem in your relationship? If you sending a friend your phone number or email address then that is acceptable means for private messaging. On the other hand, congratulating an ex or unknown friend on their pregnancy or new job is totally unacceptable. Any form of congratulations can be posted on that persons wall.

We all know that there are some ignorant people in this world which we live in. Females in particular will do and say anything to piss another chick off. Writing on someones wall expressing how attractive they are when you know his girlfriend will be seeing it in the news feed can cause a great of problems. Especially, if the guy does not nip it in the bud with that chick. I have personally seen this happen on a friend wall and his girl lost it. Their situation could have been avoided if the guy would have removed the chick or the girlfriend could have ignored it. But then again how many times can you overlook nonsense.

If it takes for both of you to deactivation or delete all of your social media accounts, then do it. Saving your relationship should be more important than FB. However, if you choose to continue doing you, then so be it. What's hidden in the dark will eventually come to light. 

I have always said I wonder how me and my husbands relationship would be if Facebook was popular in the year we started dating. I didn't have anything that I could go to and learn more than the little information I would get from him. I had nothing that I could see how his past relationship went and how he dealt with the break up. I didn't have anything that would show me photos of how he spent his money and if he spent more time with his friends than with his family. When we joined FB we were both in a relationship with each other and it had never changed.

Facebook is NOT the reason relationships are destroyed. It is simply a vehicle to get you through a relationship that was going no where faster. You find out that he's talking to other girls. He finds out that your the jealous type when you add every girl that's adding him or that he adds. You find out how he really feels in a relationship when you argue and he instantly post his response in his status. He finds out that you are writing notes and taking pictures to please another guy. You would have found these things out eventually. Facebook just helped you get through it.

Think of all the relationships before FB you have been in that lasted a long time and after you break up you realize you spent to much time in the relationship. Now look how fast you see people go through relationships. On some ends its a curse on others it's a blessing.

What do you think readers?

SOUND OFF!

Voting

Since when has the opportunity to vote become a none mother fucking factor? Apparently its not important to many individuals, unless a Black man is running for President. I'm very upset at those who took the presidential election seriously, but fail to utilize their rights during other primary elections.

All votes are and forever will be accounted for. Well, that's only if you go out and exercise your rights. Voting for elected officials to represent us in office is very important. They are our voices for creating laws and enforcing them, Health care, taxes, government assistance, employment opportunities, and social security is determined by our votes.

People have marched, fought and put their lives on the line for us to cast a ballot. Maybe you do not understand the sacrifice our ancestors fought tirelessly for. One day you should GROW UP and begin understanding. All persons of color and women should be the first in line to cast a ballot. From what I heard in the next year or so African Americans will not be able to vote at all (there is an expiration date on OUR Constitutional privileges).

When you go to the department of human services office to renew your link (EBT) application, your worker should offer you a voters registration form. The post office, all colleges and universities carry forms, as well as many churches. Facebook and other media outlets advertise how important it is to vote and you still come up with every excuse in the world as to why you were unable to vote. I find it very amusing how you can call off work to go and get your hair and nails done, but it does not cross your mind on election day. You can stand in line for hours to cop that new iPhone or the newest pair of Jordans, but you are not willing to stand in line for a few minutes to vote for the Mayor of your city.

It's always those individuals that make the most noise who do not vote. I'm tired of hearing about the decrease in food stamps, W.I.C., and so forward. Exercise your rights and stop complaining. It takes nothing to get up off your ass and go vote. When you do not vote you do not have any rights to be bitter, nor complain about anything that happens in society today. You think its hard now with the Republicans running the House and Senate? Wait until Sarah Palin or Donald Trump becomes president it's going to be hell to pay the captain. If you don't know what the Tea Party does, I suggest you start researching now.

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is an option. Be smart and utilize your rights to VOTE.

A Family???

Growing up I always wanted to have a big family. Five kids, all boys, was the plan...well until I realized how much work hard work it would take to fulfill those shoes. The idea changed after watching my parents start all over by raising four of their eight grandchildren. Then I never found the perfect guy who I thought would be a great father for my unborn children. No, I was not searching for prince charming or anything. Just someone who will be responsible and not have to depend on his parents to financially support his family; mainly his child(ren).

I broke the family norm (some call it curse) by waiting to even think about becoming pregnant. I've finished school and did a great deal traveling. I became an adult much sooner than I wanted. Being a broke college student would do that to you. I placed my goals and thoughts of a career before the idea of a family. I wanted to be stable before bringing a life into this world.

I've dated men who openly made it clear that they wanted a family. Many felt that I was the one, but the feelings wasn't mutual. A lot of times I wouldn't call the guy back after the first date. Other times I would express verbally my thoughts on children. Plus, I did not like that it became a topic on the first outing. Usually the roles are reversed and woman is the one to talk about children and the guy would run and hide. But with me I'm a different breed, I only know one other person like myself and that's my cousin, Bunny.

Now do not get me wrong. Yes, I do understand that there is no perfect man out here. However, I do believe that there are some very close to my idea of what perfect means. I stopped thinking about it and decided to allow God to do His thing. Ideally He has the ultimate say anyway.

My plans for life and many of my set goals were detoured when I decided to settle down with my honey. Yes, we've discussed having children and other options in the event that we're unable to. Right now just is not the time. Hell I'm still rearing and teaching him the ways of life. Once I'm done then maybe we can create some mini me's. I always said I need to have at least three before my thirtieth birthday. After thirty I have plans on being fit; two piece bikini and all (lol). Geesh, I just realized I have less than five years to accomplish this goal. My twenty-fifth birthday is around the darn corner. 

I have yet to sit and analyze my reasons for finding the prefect father. Maybe it is because my father wasn't there, but my DADDY was. I don't know ... I do not feel that a man is obligated to wipe another man's child ass. He can easily walk away. Yeah maybe this was the reason for me to search for the perfect father. Yes, I understand that relationships do not always work out, but that should not stop a man from raising his offspring.

SOUND OFF ... 

Ladies, what were/are your dreams of a family? Did it go as planned? Is your child(ren) father(s) actively involved in their lives? 

Men, did you ever dream of a having a family? How did it turn out for you? Are you actively involved in your child(ren) lives?

Uneducated Youth

I am not sure if many or any of you read the book written by Dr. Carter G. Woodson entitled, "The MisEducated Negro". Which questions 'Has the Negro been miseducated?'. The poignant words of Woodson still resonate in the African American communities through the United States. I'm not going to focus this topic on the book, however, I will discuss briefly the unbelievable illiteracy issues in the African American culture.

After being a faithful member of the social network, Facebook, for over six years I've grown to understand that the illiteracy rates are at an all time high. (Check out a few statuses from your friends list.) Especially, throughout the public schools system. The value of an education is not taken seriously and seems to be disregarded amongst my peers and many others in various age brackets. Looking at statistics is one thing, but viewing reality is another. The thoughts of young African Americans not taking the educational system serious devastates me. As an young adult I have witnessed on several accounts kids skipping school, leaving school early to hang out with their friends, destroy their brain cells with drug use, and asleep while sitting in class.

A few years back at a local public school on the west side of Chicago, I sat amongst a group of "educators". Neither of them were giving a lesson. At the time the students were supposed to be preparing for an upcoming state exam. They all sat gossiping about fellow co-workers and some students. One even blatantly stated, "I'm calling off tomorrow, I don't care about this fucking test. They can all fail for all I care." *I could not believe what I had just heard. I not only felt sympathy for the students, but, also for the public school system as a whole. I could not help but wonder, how many other educators are just there for the money?.

There was a time when our ancestors fought to attend school and some marched for an equality in education. Many had to secretly be taught how to read and write behind closed doors so their masters would not find out. Now present day its a different story. Students are unable to structure a sentence using proper grammar. Taking Pre-Calculus is considered an honors class. Students do not respect, nor, obey their teachers and other school staff. Parents are not actively involved in their child's education. Money is spent on the beautification of the campus and sports, instead on textbooks and other necessary supplies. Test scores are significantly lower than students of other cultures.

Whose to blame for the high illiteracy issues? I personally would blame everyone; parents, students, and the educators. These kids are our future and will be running the world and caring for us one day. Will you step up and help them out or will you sit back and watch them fail at life?

*Note: As an result of the schools low test score, all administrative staff and all teachers were relieved of there duties. The public school board hired all new educators; from the principal down to new P.E. teachers.

Sister Grenades

We, The Sister Grenades, know you guys have been missing us. We miss writing for you; our readers. As life and other successful accomplishments have been happening in our lives we have been secretly preparing a few good reads for the coming weeks ahead. We appreciate all of your love and support. We even enjoy the negative feedback we've received as well. In the words of Hugh Prather, "Negative feedback is better than none. I would rather have a man hate me than over look me. As long as he hates me I make a differences."

We know that we're doing something good, according to our statistics.

In the coming weeks be looking forward to:

• The College Days
• Dear Sister Grenades Column
• FB Drama Revealed and more...

8 Ways to Know You're Being Used

8. Self-Esteem Booster

Maybe your the plus-size friend in the group or even the not so pretty one. But you have the confidence of a super model. However your cute pretty friends grabs you as a go along for every mission ... not because your good friends, but because she stands out. Everyone notices her before you. Then you find yourself in the awkward situation were she's cracking jokes about you later to cover it up with the "I'm just playing" line.

7. Image

Men and women, both, choose beauty over brains, but someone individuals are too stupid to realize it. You're pretty enough to walk the carpet with, but you are told to be quiet and look to part.

6. Best Kept Secret

So you are not known amongst his family and friends. You are just as real as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Everyone in your circles has met him, but you cannot say the least in reference to him.

5. Other Chicks

What is this a polygamy camp? He only spends a small amount of time with you or can only visit you late at night. You've heard through the grapevine that you are just one of many. You are possibly sticking around because you love him, have a child(ren) with him, or you figure since you guy have been dating for years you might as well stay committed.

4. Control

Some men like to be in control. they will find the weakest chick and run over her.

3. Rebound

So you had him once and now you have him every now and again. In between he's in relationships with other women and when those fail who do he go to? You. Because you're the one he can always count on right? hmph!

2. Sex

Ever heard a guy ask if you guys can be just 'friends' with benefits? Or 'my girl don't know what she is doing in the bedroom so I can to you to fulfill my satisfaction'. Yes, these are things my peers tell me about the guys they are sleeping with.

1. MONEY

For the love of money, what people won't do? Their only friends with you because you have the funds to pay for everything. S/He's only dating  or sleeping with you because you can help him/her buy a new whip.

Maybe you can SOUND OFF and answer these questions for us ... Are you being used? Do you know someone that's being used and too naive to notice it?

"A wolf in sheep's clothing is still a wolf." Unknown

The Holy Bible

Last year in the month of October I made the decision to challenge myself by reading the Bible within one year. No one else, just me, myself and I. I figured hey if I can sit and read a black author written book within one hour, then I can read and study the Holy Bible in less than one year.

Before getting started my thoughts were positive ones. Well, except one; I knew I had to keep an open mind because this book was still written by man. Not only that, it has been translated and interpreted so many times. What I mean by that is the mere fact that most languages cannot be translated completely into another (mainly American English).  I have never heard of any negative things about the book. And that is what lead me to strong curiosity about one of the most controversial books in the world.

So after finally opening the book and getting deep into the book of Genesis, I had to stop numerous times because I was in great disbelief at what I was reading. The disbelief lead to a lot of questions. So I called my daddy a few times and he helped me to better understand what I was reading and why. Once finishing the good ol' book of Genesis, I searched through the preface and the entire back portion of the Bible seeking some type of DISCLAIMER. I can tell you that I definitely was not ready for what I was and still am reading.

Reading the Holy Bible is like watching a lifetime movie. There is so much drama and suspense. Sometimes I do not know if I should turn the page or close the book completely. I must admit at one point I did close the book, but then it hit me ... there is a reason why I need to continue reading it. I am gaining so must insight on how life and various cultures were back then. Everything that is written in the Old Testament is like dejavu. We all see it happening right now in present day. I am serious, everything from adultery to incest, slavery to genocide, voyeurism to rape and I can go on.

I personally would recommend everyone to develop and participate in a one year reading plan. There are a lot of churches doing this. Although, there is so much drama and questionable controversy it is a great read.  However, I would not recommend children reading the Holy Bible, until they are capable of fully understanding what they are reading.

Note: The photo depicts a humorous blog disclaimer. in no shape form or fashion do we agree with it. It was used as an idea to promote using disclaimer/warning for new readers. The Holy Bible has been around longer than most generations of man and so it is nonfiction, whereas, the photo states otherwise. I, also, recommend that you should take the readings literally for they may be beneficial.