As a little girl (and I mean toddler age), I had the biggest crush on my Auntee's high school sweetheart, Kenny R. It was not a secret and everybody including Auntee knew about it. Every time he came around I would blush and sometimes try to hide. It probably made his year to know a little girl thought he was the finest thing since slice bread.
See then it was cute because I was just a child and at the time I did not fully under the meaning of what a crush was. Now that I am a woman, I know I cannot and should not go around batting my eyes at every man I find attractive. Especially, if he's in a relationship, it's disrespectful.
Well, Mother Grenade, raised and instilled into me what it means to be respectful to myself and others. Which I take very seriously. However, I cannot say the same for others ... If I found a man attractive and later learn that he is a relationship or better yet married he's no longer eye candy to me. That's just me I guess.
I know of a young woman (whose over the age of 21) who has a crush on a now married man. She has been open about it. She has had this crush on this man since her freshman year of high school. He was two grade levels ahead of her and he was taken by his now wife. A good friend of hers has warned her numerous times about how inappropriate it is to pursue interest in him because he's taken.
The mans wife heard if it and thought it was funny and a bit cute. Well, that until she found out about this young lady has secretly messaging her husband on Facebook. The wife warned the girl that she is now grown and it's no longer cute and it's time to move on because he is married. The wife even informed her husband that it's not good to entertain the young woman. It's best for everyone if he just ignore it and take it as a compliment.
Both disregarded what the wife said and continued the private messaging. Now there is a conflict in their marriage because of a crush turned secret Facebook messages. I personally do not know the details of the messages, but I do know that this is undeniably wrong.
What I'm getting to here is to show the difference between myself and that young woman. See I was a child and she is legally grown. Do you see the point that I', trying to make here? Apparently her mother did not teach her about respecting a couples relationships or better yet marriages. But we cannot place the blame totally on her because the husband is disrespecting his wife by getting his ego stroked by another woman.
Sound Off... What are your thoughts on little girls vs. grown women having on a crush on a man in a "committed" relationship or married?
Showing posts with label Truth Is.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label Truth Is.... Show all posts
Friday, June 24, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Another Woman's Child
I have had this child since he was 2 months old and he is soon to turn two years old. He lights up my day and he is one of the loves of my life. But he is NOT mine and I HATE IT!
My intentions when he was still in his mothers womb was to take care of my own child on the way and someone else would have to care for him. Then I lost my child and I didn't think I was capable of caring for someone else child so I still did not want to care for him. Then I received a call from a case worker asking if I wanted to take care of him. I spoke with my husband and after a long time thinking ... we decided to get him and raise him until his mother handled her business to get him back. She never did.
Yes that is my nephew not my son. And yes, I know many reading are saying "No, Bianca. That's your son" ... but in all actuality it is not and up until a month ago I was living in fear that he would eventually be taken from me and given back to the woman who gave birth to him. Every time his case worker called my heart would get heavy thinking she was telling me that it was time to give him back.
Although I never got that call ... only someone who cared for him the way I have can be as scared as I was. That little boy filled a hole in me that I thought would never be filled and I have done everything I could to make sure that he was in a safe environment and well taken care of.
Getting up in the middle of the night to make his bottles, teaching him to hold them, holding him when he cries and when he's going through withdrawals, kissing his toe when he stubs it and his head when he bumps it, teaching him to crawl, hearing his first words, crying with him after his shots, falling to sleep cuddled up together, teaching him to crawl then walk, showing him that touching the sockets are not good, watching him all night his first night sleeping in his "big boy" bed, getting his kisses everyday and his hugs every night, taking up for him when I know he did something wrong, nearly crying at him saying his colors ... and having a tad bit of heart break when I'm brought back to reality his first time calling me "TT".
The name "TT" depicts the person I am SUPPOSED to be in his life ... the one who gets him on weekends and send him back home. Buys him something for his birthday and Christmas. Instead I am his only Mother FIGURE and I recognize that later in life ... I will be proud of raising another woman's child because EMOTIONALLY ... he is MINE.
My intentions when he was still in his mothers womb was to take care of my own child on the way and someone else would have to care for him. Then I lost my child and I didn't think I was capable of caring for someone else child so I still did not want to care for him. Then I received a call from a case worker asking if I wanted to take care of him. I spoke with my husband and after a long time thinking ... we decided to get him and raise him until his mother handled her business to get him back. She never did.
Yes that is my nephew not my son. And yes, I know many reading are saying "No, Bianca. That's your son" ... but in all actuality it is not and up until a month ago I was living in fear that he would eventually be taken from me and given back to the woman who gave birth to him. Every time his case worker called my heart would get heavy thinking she was telling me that it was time to give him back.
Although I never got that call ... only someone who cared for him the way I have can be as scared as I was. That little boy filled a hole in me that I thought would never be filled and I have done everything I could to make sure that he was in a safe environment and well taken care of.
Getting up in the middle of the night to make his bottles, teaching him to hold them, holding him when he cries and when he's going through withdrawals, kissing his toe when he stubs it and his head when he bumps it, teaching him to crawl, hearing his first words, crying with him after his shots, falling to sleep cuddled up together, teaching him to crawl then walk, showing him that touching the sockets are not good, watching him all night his first night sleeping in his "big boy" bed, getting his kisses everyday and his hugs every night, taking up for him when I know he did something wrong, nearly crying at him saying his colors ... and having a tad bit of heart break when I'm brought back to reality his first time calling me "TT".
The name "TT" depicts the person I am SUPPOSED to be in his life ... the one who gets him on weekends and send him back home. Buys him something for his birthday and Christmas. Instead I am his only Mother FIGURE and I recognize that later in life ... I will be proud of raising another woman's child because EMOTIONALLY ... he is MINE.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
WELFARE
Food stamps now Link Card, SNAP benefits, SSI Checks, Medical Cards, Section 8 ... and plenty more ... means WELFARE.
Lets take a look at each one.
Link Cards:
Qualifying individuals receive $200 in Link for every member of their household who is either underage or incapable of working for whatever circumstance. This is often abused by many because they receive all these funds in link and it's often spent on junk food or sold for cash ($60 cash for every $100 in Link) to fund other wants (sometimes needs) of the cardholder.SNAP Benefits:
Qualifying individuals must have a job only part time or seasonal workers are accepted. They can receive half the funds of a qualifying Link person only for the length of time they are either out of work or they receive less than half for part time workers. It is very hard for a person to receive SNAP benefits and these are often the people who need the full amount.SSI Checks:
Qualifying individuals are incapable of working to receive funds for either health or mental reasons. Often abused by parents who forced their children to plead retarded/slow in order to get a check of their own. These funds are sometimes denied for people who need it the most because there may not be funds there to assist them due to all the false claims that are being met.
Medical Cards:
Section 8:
The money that fund the above programs are those taken from tax payers who work for a living, some who don't even get any of the above assistance. Some of the people who fund these programs don't even qualify for the above programs and are turned down and looked at sideways by case workers in charge of whether or not that can receive assistance or not.
Now I am in no form against anyone who receives the program benefits above UNLESS you are abusing them. I am amongst the few people who were denied benefits when I really needed them. Then I walked into stores where people had shopping carts filled with Flamin' Hots, cakes, and Juice. I hear in the state of California SNAP and Link recipients are capable of going to the local Burger King or Dominoes to purchase pizza with their benefits card. I would go into the doctors office and watch girls who were well along in their pregnancy go into a room for their first doctors visit and they have had a medical card forever. I would watch as people spent their SSI checks on restaurant food and new shoes before getting their lights and gas cut back on. How about searching for an apartment and all the nice looking ones are taken or boarded up and the Landlords would explain how they allowed Section 8 residents to reside in their apartments and they tore them up or the boilers burst because they did not pay the heating bill.
Welfare has made it so that people can live without having to lift a finger until the 1st, 15th, 23rd, or the 30th. They tend to depend on these benefits because this is how they have been living their whole lives. It's almost said when parents live this way and then cripples their child(ren) and have them hoping and praying they get the same type of benefits as their parents.
Though welfare has a good cause it has ruined the lives of people who could have actual done something with themselves and could be out making their own money to fuel their needs and wants instead of sitting at home and re-certifying every six months for money they did not earn and could give a rats ass about the people who are working to fund their programs they cannot live without.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Black & White Composition Books
"Bitterness only eats away from it's container from the inside out" -Pastor L. Whitfield
When that statement was said I jerked back and thoughts flooded in. It was true. When you are being bitter about something it's hurts you more first and then you try to put the feelings out on others. I couldn't understand how this statement was the pure explanation of people in my life and it had also explained a lot and opened my eyes to reasons why people treated me the way they did and said the things they said. In the end they were hurting ten times more than I was after they'd attacked.
I have been the plate that a lot of people have spilled their hurt and anger on to make themselves feel better which is why I don't think I cry. Bitter people have made me stronger. I have never seen myself as bitter. I have never let anything tear me up so bad that I took that anger out on others. I found myself always in someone else line of fire because I didn't have the episodes of bitterness they did.
Now, many become bitter because they are harboring feelings of something that they should have either addressed or gotten over, however, they decided not to speak on it and to hold back their reactions. Now I am one that I always thought it was was something people wanted just to fuck with me to get me to break but I would not entertain those situations by giving reaction. I journaled. I journaled like there was no tomorrow. I felt someone pissed me off, picked on me, made me feel worthless, blamed me, cheated me, taunted me ... I JOURNALED. I had exactly 47 black and white composition books over the course of seven years that I held my frustrations and annoyances in.
Never was a happy moment written in any of these journals. I made it to where everything I did not want to carry with me I put into those black and white composition books and I left them there. I didn't write in the journals for anyones entertainment, I never considered turning them into books, I did not hide them either, I felt if someone picked them up and got upset at what was inside that was some anger they would have to deal with on their own; because I dropped my opinion about the situation in the journal and I left it there and I carried every happy moment with me and thats what I dwelled in.
Before I threw the journals away I wanted to read them and when I'd sat down with my big bag of M&M's I opened the first page and read the first sentence. I closed the book and realized that these would go into the garbage never to be read because that first page was something I had completely forgot about and the first sentence brought all the memories back and I didn't want to journal about reading my journals! They were good things to me and reading them I thought would just turn them into my enemies.
I then realized that if my journals could talk they would only see me as a bitter human being because I only shared with them what I dislike, who I disliked, and why. But I felt that my bitterness was better put onto a journal than onto other people.
Readers. You may not see yourself as bitter but when you get upset about something how do you let that emotion out? Do you journal? Go on the hunt for a victim? Whats your take on bitterness?
SOUND OFF!
When that statement was said I jerked back and thoughts flooded in. It was true. When you are being bitter about something it's hurts you more first and then you try to put the feelings out on others. I couldn't understand how this statement was the pure explanation of people in my life and it had also explained a lot and opened my eyes to reasons why people treated me the way they did and said the things they said. In the end they were hurting ten times more than I was after they'd attacked.
I have been the plate that a lot of people have spilled their hurt and anger on to make themselves feel better which is why I don't think I cry. Bitter people have made me stronger. I have never seen myself as bitter. I have never let anything tear me up so bad that I took that anger out on others. I found myself always in someone else line of fire because I didn't have the episodes of bitterness they did.
Now, many become bitter because they are harboring feelings of something that they should have either addressed or gotten over, however, they decided not to speak on it and to hold back their reactions. Now I am one that I always thought it was was something people wanted just to fuck with me to get me to break but I would not entertain those situations by giving reaction. I journaled. I journaled like there was no tomorrow. I felt someone pissed me off, picked on me, made me feel worthless, blamed me, cheated me, taunted me ... I JOURNALED. I had exactly 47 black and white composition books over the course of seven years that I held my frustrations and annoyances in.
Before I threw the journals away I wanted to read them and when I'd sat down with my big bag of M&M's I opened the first page and read the first sentence. I closed the book and realized that these would go into the garbage never to be read because that first page was something I had completely forgot about and the first sentence brought all the memories back and I didn't want to journal about reading my journals! They were good things to me and reading them I thought would just turn them into my enemies.
I then realized that if my journals could talk they would only see me as a bitter human being because I only shared with them what I dislike, who I disliked, and why. But I felt that my bitterness was better put onto a journal than onto other people.
Readers. You may not see yourself as bitter but when you get upset about something how do you let that emotion out? Do you journal? Go on the hunt for a victim? Whats your take on bitterness?
SOUND OFF!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
YES, I'm Selfish, but...
Hello All! My name is Big Sister Grenade and I am SELFISH. Yes, I am admitting it. Now before you go judging me, I must inform you that I'm a very giving person (lol). For example, family, friends, Katrina and Japan relief victims, etc. I help out when I can financially. On the other hand, I'm selfish when it comes to the man I'm dating or should I say my man.
I do not believe in sharing a man that I'm in a relationship with. You can have a crush on him and dream the biggest dreams in reference to him, but it's best to keep it all to yourself. If a chick decides to blow a kiss his way he bet not catch it. If a chick is walking towards our direction staring him down he has no reason to make eye contact. As stated in a previous topic some females are ignorant and will do anything to pull the pin out of this grenade. There's plenty of fish in the sea just don't mess with mine. Go out and find your own man.
I'm not one to fight over any man unless their my blood relatives. Yes, you heard me right. Any man that believe it's my duty to fight or even waste my breathe disputing about him with another woman (his mother, other family members, baby mommas, etc.) can keep it moving. I don't share and I definitely do not have time to waste my breath or energy on nonsense. I'm quick to leave a guy right where he is standing if I have to. It's not a secret neither. I'll pack my things in his face all while Jagged Edge is playing (insider ... lol) and will be sure to leave the keys at the front door.
No, I am not the jealous type and never allowed that term to become a part of my character neither. However, I do believe in a thing called respect. I respect him and I demand respect back. I do not think that's too much to ask for. This selfishness derived from past and present day experiences. I have been in sitautaions where a guy felt as if he needed to please is childs mother in order to be happy in our former relationship. Then, I later found myself in a situation where this one guy believed he was the ladies man, he needed everyone else outside of us to stroke his ego. So as you can see I'm selfish and feel as if I have a right be, but it can easily be detoured.
Don't judge me I'm still in my growing process (lol).
*************************
I wasn't going to even get in on this one but I must say something! lol
Hello, I am Lil Sis Grenade and I am NOT Selfish. Yeah, yeah I know ... but you can stop your thinking. I DONT SHARE MY HUSBAND PHYSICALLY. However even my own husband think I need to be a bit more selfish over him.
I grew up where I didn't mind going to the club or parties and watching my husband enjoy himself while dancing with other women. It's been times we were walking around and another woman has brushed up against him or grabbed his ass and he would look at me and ask me did I see and I wouldn't but I didn't mind. I don't mind if he looks at another woman because thats just general nature of a human. You see something that interest you, you look.
This is my take. I do not get upset or offended with my husband on things that I would not want him to get upset with me about. Now, no, I don't brush up against other men nor do I grab their butt but I may occasionally glance in the the direction of the man if something about him caught my eye. Now do I want my husband to flip the fuck out and we argue? No. If I go to a club and I am dancing with another guy do I want my husband to hold that over my head? No. So why would I do that to him?
I am alright with another woman having a little crush on him because I find it amusing that women actually want what I have. I don't get upset but I do inform the woman that it will not go any further than a crush and to understand that it would never be more than that. That normally crushes their crush and then we're back to normal.
I have never been the type to get upset about things like that which is why I think my relationship lasted so long. I do not find the things some people get pissed about disrespectful because that's just not me.
Now for our Readers whats your take? Are you selfish like Big Sis Grenade or are you more laid back like Lil Sis?
SOUND OFF!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
I'm Grown Now
This post is for the people older than we are to understand that WE ARE GROWN NOW.
Grown is often considered that you are no longer under the supervision of anyone. You are free to make decisions on your own and don't have to answer to anyone but the Big Man upstairs. The only rules followed are ones you made yourself. Everyone who used to make the rules for you can only give you advice. Sounds fun.
Everyone claims to be grown before they really are and I am definitely guilty of that. Going away to college doesn't make you grown if you come back home after graduation or when you decided college wasn't the right move for you. Having a baby and thinking that you only have to care for yourself but you need the help of those around you.
Paying a bill or two and claiming that everytime you are confronted as not being grown is another sign that you are not.
I had been out on my own for a while then when I finally came across my Grown reality when I would get paid and every penny I made went to a bill. There was no shopping, going out the eat, getting my nails done and my very last dime hit the just right amount for a pack of pampers. My account literally was down to 17 cent and I had two weeks until the next time I was to be paid. Gas would have to come from giving people rides to where they needed to go and food would come from in-laws who didn't mind giving $100 from their link to help out.
I had a big problem with people knowing I was struggling. Even though I paid my bills, the heat and lights were still being threatened to be turned off. Cell phones were paid before anything else because I didn't want anyone to know that I was struggling as bad as I was. I never knew it was possible to be in the position I was in because my parents had never let me see any struggle if there was any.
It was in that moment that I realized that I was grown and the fact I did everything because I knew that it was right. I knew these things were needed for my familys' survival. That's when I learned the word NO. I saw that there was no one there just offering a handout. If I didn't ask for help the need went unnoticed.
That's where I found myself saying I am able to ask for help and say Thank You afterward. I am able to make my own decision on if I want to stop doing something or if I want to start something new. I no longer need to explain myself to anyone and nothing is mandatory unless I say it is. I can honestly say it feels damn good. For years I was unsure of how to handle situations unless I got advice from grown people and now I handle situations my own way .
My point is being grown isn't all fun and games its probably one of the scariest moments in life when you figure it out but it changes your life.
Big Sis when did you know you were grown?
Well Lil' Sis, I grew up very quickly while in college. I must admit I was a dare devil and made a lot of decisions without thinking them through. I went from living the party life, working a minimum wage job, and allowing our parents to flip the bill on my car note to working two nice jobs, also, having work study, no longer partying, pay rents, car note and a billion other bills. Man it was hecked, but I persevered. The decline in the economy practically destroyed my life. It forced me to make the decision to return home.
Yes, I am grown mentally and age wise, but I still have a lot growing up to do within myself. Ask me this question when I'm 30 years of age and maybe I will be able to provide you a proper answer. By then I will be on my feet living my life as I dreamt it would be with a few added bonuses...lol.
SOUND OFF...Ladies and gentlemen when did you discover that you were grown? Or are you like Big Sister Grenade where she's still growing up within herself? We would love to hear from you, our fabulous readers.
Grown is often considered that you are no longer under the supervision of anyone. You are free to make decisions on your own and don't have to answer to anyone but the Big Man upstairs. The only rules followed are ones you made yourself. Everyone who used to make the rules for you can only give you advice. Sounds fun.
Everyone claims to be grown before they really are and I am definitely guilty of that. Going away to college doesn't make you grown if you come back home after graduation or when you decided college wasn't the right move for you. Having a baby and thinking that you only have to care for yourself but you need the help of those around you.
Paying a bill or two and claiming that everytime you are confronted as not being grown is another sign that you are not.
I had been out on my own for a while then when I finally came across my Grown reality when I would get paid and every penny I made went to a bill. There was no shopping, going out the eat, getting my nails done and my very last dime hit the just right amount for a pack of pampers. My account literally was down to 17 cent and I had two weeks until the next time I was to be paid. Gas would have to come from giving people rides to where they needed to go and food would come from in-laws who didn't mind giving $100 from their link to help out.
I had a big problem with people knowing I was struggling. Even though I paid my bills, the heat and lights were still being threatened to be turned off. Cell phones were paid before anything else because I didn't want anyone to know that I was struggling as bad as I was. I never knew it was possible to be in the position I was in because my parents had never let me see any struggle if there was any.
It was in that moment that I realized that I was grown and the fact I did everything because I knew that it was right. I knew these things were needed for my familys' survival. That's when I learned the word NO. I saw that there was no one there just offering a handout. If I didn't ask for help the need went unnoticed.
That's where I found myself saying I am able to ask for help and say Thank You afterward. I am able to make my own decision on if I want to stop doing something or if I want to start something new. I no longer need to explain myself to anyone and nothing is mandatory unless I say it is. I can honestly say it feels damn good. For years I was unsure of how to handle situations unless I got advice from grown people and now I handle situations my own way .
My point is being grown isn't all fun and games its probably one of the scariest moments in life when you figure it out but it changes your life.
Big Sis when did you know you were grown?
Well Lil' Sis, I grew up very quickly while in college. I must admit I was a dare devil and made a lot of decisions without thinking them through. I went from living the party life, working a minimum wage job, and allowing our parents to flip the bill on my car note to working two nice jobs, also, having work study, no longer partying, pay rents, car note and a billion other bills. Man it was hecked, but I persevered. The decline in the economy practically destroyed my life. It forced me to make the decision to return home.
Yes, I am grown mentally and age wise, but I still have a lot growing up to do within myself. Ask me this question when I'm 30 years of age and maybe I will be able to provide you a proper answer. By then I will be on my feet living my life as I dreamt it would be with a few added bonuses...lol.
SOUND OFF...Ladies and gentlemen when did you discover that you were grown? Or are you like Big Sister Grenade where she's still growing up within herself? We would love to hear from you, our fabulous readers.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Arguments
I used to always hear the way you grew up hearing arguments will be the way you would argue. Then it was shown to me on the tv show Lets Stay Together where the engaged couple mimicked the argument style of their parents. One would just walk away from an argument and stay silent and let it fester ... the other was used to attempting to "talk" something out and then always found themselves screaming!
You have some people who says that they argue because they love someone, then you find that arguing is the only way to solve a problem.
We argue with our siblings, other family, friends, neighbors, significant others, co-workers, teachers, even other drivers. You can be over happy and then find yourself pissed the next minute. When things aren't always in your favor and you take the frustration out on someone else.
Most arguments start over the smallest things that blow up during confrontations that bring out thoughts that would not typically be revealed.
I argue with my husband, who doesn't. We argue if he farts in the car with all the windows up, who's going to change the shitty pamper, who will make that 5am bottle for the baby, why didn't one of us spray the bathroom when we came out, did you really leave the top off the toothpaste, why did you throw my face towel in the laundry bag, who's gonna pay the bills over the phone, why do I have to carry more bags from the car, who's gonna get the baby cup out the car, why would you use the last q-tip, drink the last cup of kool-aid, did you really not wash the dishes, who left the mayonnaise on the table!??!
Seems like petty reasons right? I felt the same way until Daddy Grenade heard one of our arguments and said: "I'm so glad y'all arguments aren't really over nothing big". That got me to thinking our arguments be less than five minutes long and typically end with us laughing or the other coming into the room giving a hug and kiss and tickling the other. I don't have the big money fights or the what time you get in spats, who's texting you talks, who was the girl/guy you had in the car arguments. I began to be happy about my small petty arguments.
SOUND OFF...
How big or small are your arguments? Do they fester for days or are they mended before you guys go to bed?
You have some people who says that they argue because they love someone, then you find that arguing is the only way to solve a problem.
We argue with our siblings, other family, friends, neighbors, significant others, co-workers, teachers, even other drivers. You can be over happy and then find yourself pissed the next minute. When things aren't always in your favor and you take the frustration out on someone else.
Most arguments start over the smallest things that blow up during confrontations that bring out thoughts that would not typically be revealed.
I argue with my husband, who doesn't. We argue if he farts in the car with all the windows up, who's going to change the shitty pamper, who will make that 5am bottle for the baby, why didn't one of us spray the bathroom when we came out, did you really leave the top off the toothpaste, why did you throw my face towel in the laundry bag, who's gonna pay the bills over the phone, why do I have to carry more bags from the car, who's gonna get the baby cup out the car, why would you use the last q-tip, drink the last cup of kool-aid, did you really not wash the dishes, who left the mayonnaise on the table!??!
Seems like petty reasons right? I felt the same way until Daddy Grenade heard one of our arguments and said: "I'm so glad y'all arguments aren't really over nothing big". That got me to thinking our arguments be less than five minutes long and typically end with us laughing or the other coming into the room giving a hug and kiss and tickling the other. I don't have the big money fights or the what time you get in spats, who's texting you talks, who was the girl/guy you had in the car arguments. I began to be happy about my small petty arguments.
SOUND OFF...
How big or small are your arguments? Do they fester for days or are they mended before you guys go to bed?
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Holy Bible
Last year in the month of October I made the decision to challenge myself by reading the Bible within one year. No one else, just me, myself and I. I figured hey if I can sit and read a black author written book within one hour, then I can read and study the Holy Bible in less than one year.
Before getting started my thoughts were positive ones. Well, except one; I knew I had to keep an open mind because this book was still written by man. Not only that, it has been translated and interpreted so many times. What I mean by that is the mere fact that most languages cannot be translated completely into another (mainly American English). I have never heard of any negative things about the book. And that is what lead me to strong curiosity about one of the most controversial books in the world.
So after finally opening the book and getting deep into the book of Genesis, I had to stop numerous times because I was in great disbelief at what I was reading. The disbelief lead to a lot of questions. So I called my daddy a few times and he helped me to better understand what I was reading and why. Once finishing the good ol' book of Genesis, I searched through the preface and the entire back portion of the Bible seeking some type of DISCLAIMER. I can tell you that I definitely was not ready for what I was and still am reading.
Reading the Holy Bible is like watching a lifetime movie. There is so much drama and suspense. Sometimes I do not know if I should turn the page or close the book completely. I must admit at one point I did close the book, but then it hit me ... there is a reason why I need to continue reading it. I am gaining so must insight on how life and various cultures were back then. Everything that is written in the Old Testament is like dejavu. We all see it happening right now in present day. I am serious, everything from adultery to incest, slavery to genocide, voyeurism to rape and I can go on.
I personally would recommend everyone to develop and participate in a one year reading plan. There are a lot of churches doing this. Although, there is so much drama and questionable controversy it is a great read. However, I would not recommend children reading the Holy Bible, until they are capable of fully understanding what they are reading.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Giving It Away
Let's face it! Many of us don't own a V-Card anymore so there is no need to pretend that we still have it in our wallet.
For many, it's been gone for a long time ... everyone's time is different ... but are their reasons?
So yeah, many give up the card for Love, Lust, or the most hilarious reason ... Payback a.k.a Rebound.
High School Girl: He's cute, wears the best clothes, quarterback or star point guard. You met his mom once (when she caught y'all in his room), everybody know your together. Not to mention all your friends have had to take off their purity rings so why should you be the one still with one?
College Chick: His name is well know on campus, you have three of your four classes with him and in two of them you both are grouped together for class projects. The other night at the Frat party you both danced together all night. Your spending all this time together anyway ... he seems like he may be the one and you're thinking most college dudes are not going to wait ... are you really going to let him go?
Grown Woman: You've prided yourself in still being the pure one of your friends. Yet, you can't relate to any of the girl talk they have. You've been dating this guy and has chosen to start the three month rule. He's everything you think you want. Nice looking, good job, own place, car ... yeah he's your ideal guy. Girls night is coming up again and you want to have SOMETHING you can relate to your girls on. Your not in love and it's only been two and a half months ... but you want to be apart of the conversation this time! And whats one week before your initial plan anyway?
So ... now that that's done. Time to inform the Ex. Oh but you can't do it directly. So we tell our friends, who tell their friends or their boyfriends who can't wait to inform the EX. He finds out ... get pissed off ... and there ... Mission Accomplished.
For whatever reason above you chose to hand over your V-card to a man and months or years later you are either still happy with your decision, heartbroken, or pissed at the reason you chose to give up. No matter what the reason was at the time you gave it up it seemed like a good idea. You seemed to have your mind made up THEN.
BUT NOW ...
Do you regret your reason? or are you still happy? C'mon ... Be Honest and ...
SOUND OFF!
Now it wouldn't be right to ask you all a question without answering it ourselves ... Big Sis ... your answer?
Well, Lil Sis, I must say that I am that entire description on LOVE. I dated a guy in high school; whom I am with now, who was respectful enough to wait and never pressured me, unlike the others I dated. After a while I chose to hand him my v-card because I felt that I was ready. He was my ideal guy and I had high hopes of 'US'. At the time I was pretty sure it going to be a forever/ lifetime, then years later we broke broke things off. Did I regret giving him my v-card? No, I didn't and still don't. We remained friends and my high hopes of US did eventually turn into a sacred promise of forever. And YES, I must admit that I am STILL happy with my decision. Giving my v-card away has taught me that my body is a temple and it should be respected as such. Any man that claims to love me should love me enough to wait and respect my values, health, and most of all my body. That is what Mr. Brown did and I love him for that.
Now what about you Lil Sis?...
*CLEARS THROAT* Now everyone knows good and well that my V-card is secure in my hand purse, back pocket, or wallet. I can't remember. lol No seriously we both hold that description on love. I mean honestly I was one of those girls who when in a relationship the kiss was as far as I was going and I didn't think about anything further. It wasn't as if I didn't know about the acts of sex, Mother Grenade explained those to me when I was about 7 or 8. I guess because it was explained to me so young and because I understood, I wasn't curious. I started to see my friends hand their cards over when we were young and then they would catch feelings for the guy and he was already out the door. I then promised myself that no matter how many guys I dated I wouldn't be like a few of my friends handing my card over because of lust nor would I be like one to hand it over for payback. When I'd finally met who I wanted to hand my card over to I was happy with my decision because I knew the precautions and everything and if anything was to happen I knew he would be the one I shared the consequences with. It was my choice to hand it over to him and from that choice I have given birth to two of the greatest little people; one on Earth and one in Heaven.
For many, it's been gone for a long time ... everyone's time is different ... but are their reasons?
So yeah, many give up the card for Love, Lust, or the most hilarious reason ... Payback a.k.a Rebound.
Lust:
High School Girl: He's cute, wears the best clothes, quarterback or star point guard. You met his mom once (when she caught y'all in his room), everybody know your together. Not to mention all your friends have had to take off their purity rings so why should you be the one still with one?
College Chick: His name is well know on campus, you have three of your four classes with him and in two of them you both are grouped together for class projects. The other night at the Frat party you both danced together all night. Your spending all this time together anyway ... he seems like he may be the one and you're thinking most college dudes are not going to wait ... are you really going to let him go?
Grown Woman: You've prided yourself in still being the pure one of your friends. Yet, you can't relate to any of the girl talk they have. You've been dating this guy and has chosen to start the three month rule. He's everything you think you want. Nice looking, good job, own place, car ... yeah he's your ideal guy. Girls night is coming up again and you want to have SOMETHING you can relate to your girls on. Your not in love and it's only been two and a half months ... but you want to be apart of the conversation this time! And whats one week before your initial plan anyway?
Love:
High School Girl, College Chick, Grown Woman: This is here because there are some who really find themselves in love with a guy who has not pressure us, is willing to wait, spends his every minute with us so that you are positive that there is no possible infidelity. This guy may not be the perfect image we imagined but he is the man you want. You can't imagine yourself without him and after long contemplating you find yourself wanting to share the most precious and priceless thing you have with him and only him. PAYBACK:
Everyone: So you have tried making it work with him. He just don't want to act right. He's out cheating, not the calling, and texting the other girls but he's actually having sex and blaming his cheating ways on the fact that you won't give him any. You are hurt and you can't believe the audacity he has to use your wanting to wait as a reason for him to cheat. You get up enough nerve to want to leave. You meet another guy ... your not even near lust with him ... he will simply be your pawn in hurting the guy who hurt you. Will he know this? No. Will you ever tell? No. But you will ensure that once your relationship is out and known by everyone that's when you will you jump into full revenge mode. You don't wait long to knowingly hand him your V-Card. Making him think he's the lucky one when ultimately you have just decided that your virginity is the ONLY thing that could make the EX feel the pain you felt over and over again. You virginity is no longer a gift your giving away you have programmed your mind to think that once it's gone it's gone ... no need to attach feelings. After the initial pain, you get over it, start to enjoy the ride and after looking at the clock you saw that in all of three minutes you gave away the most sacred thing to you ... but because you pushed that thought to the side ... after you look at the clock you saw that in three minutes you have done that one thing that would hurt the ex.So ... now that that's done. Time to inform the Ex. Oh but you can't do it directly. So we tell our friends, who tell their friends or their boyfriends who can't wait to inform the EX. He finds out ... get pissed off ... and there ... Mission Accomplished.
For whatever reason above you chose to hand over your V-card to a man and months or years later you are either still happy with your decision, heartbroken, or pissed at the reason you chose to give up. No matter what the reason was at the time you gave it up it seemed like a good idea. You seemed to have your mind made up THEN.
BUT NOW ...
Do you regret your reason? or are you still happy? C'mon ... Be Honest and ...
SOUND OFF!
Now it wouldn't be right to ask you all a question without answering it ourselves ... Big Sis ... your answer?
Well, Lil Sis, I must say that I am that entire description on LOVE. I dated a guy in high school; whom I am with now, who was respectful enough to wait and never pressured me, unlike the others I dated. After a while I chose to hand him my v-card because I felt that I was ready. He was my ideal guy and I had high hopes of 'US'. At the time I was pretty sure it going to be a forever/ lifetime, then years later we broke broke things off. Did I regret giving him my v-card? No, I didn't and still don't. We remained friends and my high hopes of US did eventually turn into a sacred promise of forever. And YES, I must admit that I am STILL happy with my decision. Giving my v-card away has taught me that my body is a temple and it should be respected as such. Any man that claims to love me should love me enough to wait and respect my values, health, and most of all my body. That is what Mr. Brown did and I love him for that.
Now what about you Lil Sis?...
*CLEARS THROAT* Now everyone knows good and well that my V-card is secure in my hand purse, back pocket, or wallet. I can't remember. lol No seriously we both hold that description on love. I mean honestly I was one of those girls who when in a relationship the kiss was as far as I was going and I didn't think about anything further. It wasn't as if I didn't know about the acts of sex, Mother Grenade explained those to me when I was about 7 or 8. I guess because it was explained to me so young and because I understood, I wasn't curious. I started to see my friends hand their cards over when we were young and then they would catch feelings for the guy and he was already out the door. I then promised myself that no matter how many guys I dated I wouldn't be like a few of my friends handing my card over because of lust nor would I be like one to hand it over for payback. When I'd finally met who I wanted to hand my card over to I was happy with my decision because I knew the precautions and everything and if anything was to happen I knew he would be the one I shared the consequences with. It was my choice to hand it over to him and from that choice I have given birth to two of the greatest little people; one on Earth and one in Heaven.
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