The Big Debate

There is excitement when it comes to getting engaged, setting a date, wedding planning, and becoming one with your significant other. Every exciting thought come to your mind when thinking about spending the rest of your life with someone you love. Then you are slapped in the face with whether or not you will change your last name. One part of you feel its best to keep your maiden name. It is a name you love already, it plays a big part in your career and all of your college degrees have your maiden name printed on them. On the other hand, your fiance is pressuring you to change your name. He would like for his entire family to carry the same name, which is his name.

Although, there is still time to think about changing your last name or not you find yourself debating amongst yourself. Going the traditional route is common, however, its a new day in age. Newly married women are keeping their maiden names these days. Men are accepting the idea and compromising when its comes to the idea of hyphening.



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Before I was even engaged me and my husband talked about if I would change my name. I had this big thing about how I do not want to change my name because I have accomplished so much and it all has my maiden name on it. I mean you can even Google me! He threw a fit about how he want me to take on his last name because that's what a wife is supposed to do. I was of course taking aback by the "wife supposed to do" comment and was happy I hadn't gotten engaged because the situation would have been even bigger. After getting engaged I started to really think about changing my name. I was pregnant with my daughter and had custody of my nephew and there was no doubt that her name would be like her fathers. I even went through the fact that his last name wasn't unique. I mean it's rate #4 on the Most Common Last Names in America. My maiden name wasn't even listed! I used that and it failed. Now I'm married and I have yet to change my last name legally and it's not because I don't want his last name but I want it hyphenated ... and this time I have a real reason.

I can admit ... initially I did not want to take his last name because I was known by my own and I was being selfish until I received a definite answer that my nephew would soon become my own and instantly I thought about how I grew up and we had shirts and hats with our last names on them and Big Sister Grenade last name was different but she still wore the shirts. She never seemed to mind but I always thought about if I was in her shoes that I would be a bit frustrated. I never want my nephew to have to even think about it and it become an issue. I want him to know that he is not the only one with the last name he has ... his aunt is still wearing it as well.

Changing my last name is huge for me and my family and I don't want to make the wrong decision and never would I want my nephew to feel out of place. Hyphenating my last name seems like the option since I think on both sides of the fence. It should satisfy my Husband and cause less confusion for my nephew whom I am raising as a son. I have yet to go over this with my husband ... so you all ... PRAY FOR ME. lol

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In the beginning I too did not want to change my last name. I am honestly comfortable with my maiden name. It is a part of who I am. Then, I, myself, decided to go the traditional route and just change my last name. BUT ... things did not go as planned. Traveling, successful accomplishments, etc. has cause me to keep my maiden name. In the near future I will be changing my last name. I am now completely comfortable with doing so.

SOUND OFF ... Tell us how do you feel about changing you identify (last name)? Is/ was it a topic for discussion between you and your mate? What was the final outcome?